


The Dark before Dawn

by WordsInTimeAndSpace



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 09:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2103813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsInTimeAndSpace/pseuds/WordsInTimeAndSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After one of their adventures goes horribly wrong and the Doctor gets seriously hurt, Rose suddenly wakes up on the previous morning. With the Doctor not remembering a thing Rose has to figure out what is happening on her own in order to save the Doctor's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: [resile](http://re-sile.tumblr.com/), thank you very much!

There was a knock at her door. The sound, although not unfamiliar with this new new Doctor who barely had the patience to wait for his companion to get out of bed, pulled her harshly out of her dreams.

Rose Tyler groaned, rolled on her stomach and buried her face in the cushion. There was another knock before she heard the door opening, followed by the sound of light footsteps crossing the room. The mattress dipped beside her as a weight settled down on her bed.

“Rooose.”

“Five more minutes,” she mumbled into the pillow before she continued to pretend he wasn't there.

The Doctor shifted beside her, and when she almost thought she had been successful, he poked one of his fingers into her side, making her squeak. Rose turned on her back, brushed a strand of messy hair out of her face and glared at him. The Doctor sat on the edge of her bed, dressed in his brown suit, hair styled to defy gravity, and happily grinned down at her.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“Don't see the good thing about this mornin',” Rose muttered, rubbing her eyes.

“Come on! You've been sleeping for seven hours and 43 minutes. Time to get out of bed. We've got things to do, places to see!”

“Have we got plans for today?”

“Well...” The Doctor tilted his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I haven't decided where to go yet. Somewhere exciting, that much I can promise you! But it depends what you fancy today. The beach? A bit of shopping? A surprise? Your choice.”

Rose made a hum of approval in the back of her throat and closed her eyes, snuggling deeper under the blanket. She could hear the Doctor's smile in his voice when he spoke.

“Sounds good?”

“Yep.”

“I'm afraid it does require you getting out of bed,” the Doctor pointed out, tugging the blanket down to her waist. Rose let out a sleepy sigh.

“Working on it.”

The Doctor leaned over her and brushed a hand over her shoulder to adjust the halter of her top, his fingertips tickling against her naked skin. Rose shivered and popped her eyes open, meeting his gaze that was sparkling with mischief.

“Want me to carry you into the shower?”

His low voice was accompanied by a lifted eyebrow and crooked smile that Rose would've described as seductive if it weren't the Doctor, and that was enough to fill her mind with images of the Time Lord hauling her into the shower, stripping her naked and joining her under the hot stream of water. She jumped out of bed, blushing furiously, and scowled at the Doctor who gave her an innocent smile as if he didn't know exactly what he did to her imagination.

“Go on and take a shower; I'll meet you in the galley in half an hour! How about pancakes for breakfast? I think I fancy pancakes today.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow in question and Rose quickly nodded. She cleared her throat, not quite trusting her voice yet.

“Sure. Sounds good. You're taking care of that?” she said.

Lips curving up, the Doctor jumped up, buried his hands in the pockets of his pinstriped trousers and strolled to the door.

“Of course! Do you really think I would let you near a cooker before you had some caffeine?”

He barely had the chance to duck his head and slip out of the door before Rose threw a pillow in his direction.

~~~

“So... we're going on a trip today? Is the TARDIS up for it?” Rose asked hopefully. It had been a week since they had returned from Krop Tor, and with the ship being in a pretty bad state they had spent their days drifting through the vortex, never once setting a foot outside. Rose sat down at the table in the galley, placing a cuppa and a plate full of slightly burned pancakes in front of her. She carefully took a bite, deciding it was edible despite the darker shade of colour.

“Yep, she should be. I finished all the necessary repairs yesterday.”

The Doctor wrinkled his nose as he tried his breakfast and reached for the syrup, drowning his pancakes with the sticky purple liquid.

Rose lifted an eyebrow, eyeing him carefully as he shoved half a pancake into his mouth.

“You're sure that stuff 's not gonna kill you?”

The Doctor rolled his eyes and nodded before swallowing.

“It's quite good, actually. You should try it.”

“No, ta. I'm fine.”

“Really Rose, after travelling all of time and space with me for... oh, nearly two years I think, you should be a little more open to trying alien food.”

“I am! I tried these squid things last month when we were on that bazaar, remember? That stuff had the same colour as this and it gave me food poisoning, so I'm not trying anything purple again. Especially not syrup coming from a plant I probably can't even pronounce.”

“Who are you humans to decide what syrup should look like? Really, as if brown is much better than purple. And the tree is actually related to your maple tree. Not that much of a difference.”

Rose frowned, still not convinced, and took a sip of her tea before replying. “Really? That stuff actually comes from a tree?”

“Yep! Oh, I could show you!” The Doctor's face lightened up and he broke out into an enthusiastic grin. “What do you think? A trip to Abliri today? That's where these trees grow.”

At the sight of him beaming at her, excitement sparkling in his eyes, Rose couldn't help but smile back.

“Yeah! I'll go to a planet where they make purple syrup with you if that means we'll finally get some fresh air and maybe a bit of sun.”

The Doctor opened his mouth to respond, but quickly closed it again before the answer tumbled over his lips. He tilted his head, suddenly looking troubled. “It's been a while since we had that, right?” he finally said. “I'm sorry it took me a whole week to get the repairs done.”

Rose reached over the table for his hand, giving it a squeeze. She wasn't sure if she actually felt him trembling or if she was imagining it.

“It's fine,” she said softly. “It's not every day that the TARDIS gets lost in a pit in an impossible planet.”

Letting out a hoarse laugh, the Doctor turned his hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. His thumb absently brushed over her skin and he finally raised his gaze to her face, narrowing his eyes.

“Thankfully not. What about you? Are you sure you're up for a trip?”

“I'm fine. No need to worry.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “I know you haven't been sleeping well.”

“Neither have you,” Rose said, crossing her arms over her chest.

They looked at each other for a long moment, neither of them willing to break eye contact. There was something soft in his eyes, something vulnerable, and for a second Rose thought he would finally say what he was really thinking. That he would admit how much the events on Krop Tor troubled him, admit how scared he was of losing her. But instead she could see the exact moment on his face when he shoved these feelings aside. He jumped up and quickly grabbed the empty plates, carrying them to the sink.

“Right then! Abliri it is. It's quite nice in the spring. Lots of sunlight, of course. They have three of them!”

Rose suppressed a sigh and plastered a smile on her lips instead. She was travelling with him long enough to know that pressing the Doctor into talking about his feelings never went well. Dropping the matter for the moment, she let out an approving hum.

“That's exactly what I need.”

She got up and stretched, bouncing on the balls of her feet, the excitement of a new alien planet to explore already bubbling in her veins. Although she usually didn't mind staying in the TARDIS for a few days between their adventures, a moment of peace and quiet with just the two of them, she guessed a good amount of running was exactly the distraction they both needed right now.

~~~

After a short and surprisingly smooth journey Rose was the first one to take a step outside. She took a deep breath of fresh air and blinked into the sun. The Doctor had landed the TARDIS on a broad street and Rose crooked her neck to take in the houses, made out of grey bricks with bright red rooftops. The city was on the side of a hill and from their position Rose had a broad view of the valley underneath, covered with dark green forests. A sweet scent lay in the air and the three suns shone down on them from a pale blue sky.

The Doctor shrugged on his coat before he stepped at her side.

“The city of Nul!” he exclaimed. “In the middle of a forest full of alien maple trees, famous in this whole galaxy for its syrup, which you, Rose Tyler, rudely refused for breakfast.”

Rose laughed. “It's beautiful! Despite their questionable breakfast choices.”

“You'll see, until the end of the day I'll have convinced you to try it. This city is one of the most important manufacturers on this planet, there really is no escape.”

“No, ta.”

Rose stretched and squinted at the sky, the sunlight warming the skin on her face and her bare arms, and she could already feel the tension of the past week rolling off her. She caught the Doctor looking at her, a content smile on his lips, and held out her hand for him.

Together they made their way towards the city centre, the streets getting busier as they neared the round market place. It was crowded with stalls and people of all ages, looking mostly human, and Rose broke out into a smile as she took in the various noises, smells and colours as they watched the place.

“Oh, this is great! Feels like a holiday. Maybe we can find something nice for Mum, yeah? It's her birthday soon.”

Shrugging, the Doctor led Rose towards the steps that were leading up towards the market place.

“Sure, why not. Just have to make sure it's something safe and not too alien in case she goes on telling it all her neighbours again. She-”

The Doctor looked up when there was suddenly someone rushing down the stairs, a figure wrapped in a dark cloak, looking back over his shoulder and not watching where he was going. It happened too quickly for the Doctor to react and so the figure crashed into him and both of them stumbled to the floor.

“Doctor!”

Rose rushed to his side, but the Doctor quickly rolled over and pushed himself up.

“I'm fine. You alright, mate?”

The Doctor looked down to the man who was still crouching on the ground, the hood falling over his eyes. Rose bent down to offer him her hand, but the man recoiled, suddenly raising his head and watching them with wide, terrified eyes. He got up on shaking legs at the same time Rose took a step back, hands raised to show they were not a threat. Now that she could see the soft features of his face under his hood she realized he was more of a boy than a man, perhaps sixteen years old. He hissed in pain as he shifted his weight to his right foot and the Doctor grabbed his arm in support.

“Careful! We won't hurt you, promise.”

The boy eyed him suspiciously, but finally stopped struggling. Instead he looked back to where he just came from, a frown on his face.

“Let me go. I have to go, please.”

“You're hurt; I don't think you're going anywhere.”

The boy whirled around, trying again to loosen the Doctor's grip on his arm. He finally broke free, stumbled a few steps back and grimaced in pain.

“No! They're coming after me, they can't find me!”

“Who is 'they'?” Rose asked, alarmed, and took a step closer to the boy, trying to shield him from the market place behind her. But he just shook his head, and the panic was clear in his high pitched voice when he spoke.

“I have to go! I have to hide.”

Determined, the Doctor stepped forward, curling his fingers around his shaking shoulder.

“Let's get you out of view, and let me have a look at your ankle, alright? I'm a doctor.”

Helplessly looking around, Rose's gaze finally fell to a narrow alley leading away from the main street, and she excitedly jumped up when she saw there were stairs leading under the ground. The perfect opportunity to shield them from the view of the street.

“Over here!”

With the Doctor steadying the boy they quickly made their way into the alley and down the stairs. There was a wooden door at the end which opened with a creak when Rose tried to turn the handle. The door led into a small cellar. Rose let out a breath and looked around in the dim light. Except for a few empty shelves, the room seemed to be abandoned. The boy winced as the Doctor helped him sit down on the dusty ground and crouched next to him.

“What's your name?”

“Ca'Rim.”

“Nice to meet you Ca'Rim. I'm the Doctor and this is Rose.”

He studied the Doctor with a frown on his face, and then his gaze fell on Rose, who gave him an encouraging smile and waved, careful to keep some distance in order not to frighten him. Ca'Rim watched her carefully, his face sceptical, before his lips curled into a shy smile and his features relaxed. He took a deep breath.

“Thank you. For helping me.”

“No problem! That's just what we do, right Rose?” the Doctor grinned. He slipped his hand into the pocket of his suit and pulled out the sonic screwdriver. “Can I have a look at your injury now?”

While Ca'Rim nodded and the Doctor scanned his ankle, Rose stepped towards the entrance and craned her neck to glance out to the street. She saw people passing by, hurrying along the street without casting a look in their direction. Nothing unusual. It was the same busy summer day that it had been before. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth and turned her attention back to the two men.

“Nothing's broken, no sprain, and so far no swelling,” the Doctor announced. “You probably just twisted your ankle. A bit of rest and no heavy strain and it should be better.”

“Does that mean I can go?” Ca'Rim asked. He tried to push himself up without waiting for an answer. The Doctor gently placed a hand on his shoulder and guided him back down.

“Take it easy for a moment.”

“But I can't stay here!”

Rose frowned at the troubled expression on his face. She knelt down beside the Doctor and placed a hand on Ca'Rim's arm, trying to calm him down.

“It's alright. I don't think anyone is gonna find us here.”

The Doctor narrowed his eyes.

“Who are you hiding from?”

Ca'Rim bit his lip, glancing from the Doctor to Rose and back, and finally let out the breath he was holding. He released Rose's grip on his sleeve, leaned back and slowly pulled back the hood of his cloak. Rose heard the Doctor suck in a sharp breath next to her and looked at him, confused. The Doctor had tensed, clenching his jaw and pressing his lips into a thin line as he studied the marks on Ca'Rim's bald head.

Curved lines and foreign symbols covered his skin, tattooed with brown ink, clearly visible on his light skin.

Ca'Rim met the Doctor's gaze without blinking, his features tense, waiting for a reaction.

“You're a slave,” the Doctor finally said, his voice hoarse. Rose gasped while Ca'Rim nodded with a quick jerk of his head.

“Yes. Obviously.”

He scooted a step away from them until his back hit the wall behind him. His whole body radiated tension as he clenched his hands into fists.

The Doctor jumped to his feet with one swift movement and began pacing the room, ranking a hand through his already tousled hair.

“Doctor?” Rose asked, confused by his reaction. He cursed under his breath before he finally turned to them.

“I've landed us in pre-revolutionary Abliri. It's still under control of a totalitarian regime, which supports slavery. I aimed for a few hundred years into the future.”

“Well, this is hardly the first time this has happened and we ended up in a place like this, isn't it?”

“But this isn't how it was supposed to be! This trip should have been safe, relaxing, especially after-” He stopped himself and gulped, not meeting her eyes. “And instead I was so thick not to notice something was wrong until now. I'm sorry, Rose.”

“Doctor, it's fine.” Rose gave him a reassuring smile. “We are just where we are needed, aren't we? We can help the people here, make a difference, and that's what matters.”

The Doctor's shoulders slumped as he let out a breath. He nodded.

“Right. 'Course.”

He turned back to Ca'Rim, who was watching them both with a frown on his face.

“We can help to get you out of here. My ship is parked not far from here and once we get there you're safe. And then we can think about what we're going to do. I need more information on when exactly we've landed, and then I can figure out where we can find a safe place for you to stay.”

“No! I sneaked out of my Master's house this morning, before dawn. And...” He trailed off, lowering his head.

“And then what? Where were you planning to go? Get out of the city?”

“I wasn't planning to leave. And I still don't. I'm staying.”

The Doctor blinked, confused.

“Excuse me? If I remember things right, and I usually do, this planet has a death sentence on runaway slaves. And you want to stay here, where it is just a matter of time until you're captured?”

Ca'Rim jerked his head up and gritted his teeth. Anger darkened his features and glistened in his eyes, so sudden and vigorous Rose involuntary took a step back.

“They won't capture me. Not this time, not any more. Everything is going to change.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“It's happening today.”

“What is happening?”

“The revolution. It's finally starting.”

The Doctor opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. Rose stepped forward, closer to where the men were standing, but her movement pulled the Doctor out of his stupor and he turned around, grabbing her arm before she got too close.

“We need to leave. Now.”

Rose wanted to protest, but the words got stuck in her throat as she saw the Doctor's face. He was pale, his jaw clenched, his eyes dark and terrified. It wasn't a Doctor she knew. The Doctor she knew went through a whole range of emotions, often in a matter of a heartbeat, but he was never terrified. Before Rose had a chance to wonder what had changed, he was already pulling her towards the door.

“Come on, we have to get out of here,” he hissed.

“And leave him here? You said they were gonna kill him!”

“Rose, you don't understand! It's one thing to land before a revolution, but landing right in the middle of it is a whole different matter. We're not staying a minute more than necessary.”

The Doctor ran up the stairs, taking two steps at once and dragging Rose behind him, but he suddenly stopped before they stepped out to the street. His broad shoulders were blocking her view and Rose craned her neck to see what was happening. He loosened his grip on her fingers, raising his hands instead in a disarming gesture.

“I think there's been a misunderstanding.”

Right in front of them, surrounding the entrance to the cellar, was a row of men wearing dark blue uniforms. Two of them raised the spears in their hands and stepped forward, blocking their way.

“I don't think so,” one of the other soldiers said. He took a step forward, crossing his arms in front of his chest and examining them carefully.

“You're under arrest. We suspect you are in the company of a wanted criminal.”

He nodded to his men and they leapt forward at his silent command. Two men grabbed the Doctor's upper arms, hauling him out onto the street. Two others captured Rose, dragging her away from the entrance before even more soldiers rushed past her down the stairs. Rose struggled in their grip, but they tightened their fingers around her arms until it was nearly painful. She winced, stumbling when they pulled her forward.

She searched for the Doctor's eyes, but his gaze was fixed on the entrance to the cellar, watching as the guards dragged Ca'Rim out into the sunlight. His cloak was torn, hanging loosely around his slim shoulders. The look on his face reflected pure terror. One of the guards roughly pushed him down to his knees and restrained his hands behind his back. The man in charge looked down at him before he turned back towards the Doctor and Rose.

“You're found guilty of helping a criminal escape the police force. Even worse, you stole the property of the most important man in Nul.”

“We didn't steal him,” Rose snapped, ignoring how the guard's fingers painfully dug into her skin. “He is a person, a living being!”

The guard in command stood in front of her, leaning closer until Rose could feel his breath on her skin. He fixed her with a cold glare and huffed. Rose's heart pounded in her chest, but she raised her chin, not showing her fear, and met his eyes.

“I should have known you're one of the rebels. You know that questioning the emperor is punishable by death, right?”

“No!” the Doctor shouted next to her. “She doesn't know what she's saying. We're not from around. She doesn't know the law.”

“We'll deal with you two later,” the guard hissed before he turned to Ca'Rim. He watched the boy struggle against his bonds, and then he sighed deeply and turned to leave.

“Execute him. And take these two to prison.”

Rose heard her own scream ringing in her ears. Three guards were blocking her view, towering over Ca'Rim, who was crouching helplessly on the ground. She heard the sound of a sword being pulled out of its sheath, metal scraping against metal, and closed her eyes against the inevitable.

But then the sound of the Doctor fighting somewhere next to her made her jerk her head up. Twisting his arm in the grasp of the guard who was distractedly watching the execution scene, the Doctor managed to pull one arm free, grimacing in exertion. He knocked his elbow into the other man's stomach, who doubled over and gasped for breath. The Doctor shook him off, shoving him back into the wall, and then leapt forward to fling himself at Rose's guard. They both stumbled back and the guard loosened his grip around her arm. Rose jerked her arm back, finally pulling free.

Not wasting any time, the Doctor grabbed her hand. His skin was sweaty against her own, but she didn't let go as the Doctor shouted “Run!” and they dashed down the alley. She could hear the guards behind them, shouting and cursing, armour rattling as they chased them.

Blood rushed in her ears as they raced through the city, running side by side, taking turns whenever possible trying to shake off their pursuers. Adrenaline coursed through her veins, making her run even faster as she tried to keep up with the Doctor's swift pace. They managed to leave to city centre behind them, and finally the noise behind them subsided as they outpaced the guards. The streets were empty now and their heavy breathing together with their frantic footsteps was everything that filled Rose's ears. Nonetheless she didn't dare to slow down, not yet, not before they reached the TARDIS.

But then the Doctor suddenly did.

He wasn't normally the one who slowed down first when they were running away from danger. It was always her who was out of breath first while he did fine with his superior biology, as the Doctor liked to say.

Rose turned her head, a question already on her lips, only to see the Doctor's face white as chalk, his fringe clinging to his sweaty forehead.

Rose skidded to a halt and the Doctor stumbled, reaching out with his free hand to lean against the wall next to him.

“Doctor, what's wrong?” Rose rushed to his side, gripping his shoulders to support him.

The Doctor opened his mouth, but he choked on the words before they tumbled over his lips. He glanced down his chest, and Rose followed his gaze and gasped as she saw his shirt covered with blood. The Doctor wrinkled his forehead and drew his eyebrows together, but instead of pain or fear there was a look of utter confusion on his face.

“Rose...” he managed to say before his legs gave out underneath him.

“Hang on!”

Rose reached into the pockets of his suit, rummaging around and finally pulling out a jumper the Doctor usually carried with him in case she got cold. She pressed the fabric against the wound on his stomach. The Doctor winced for a second as she added more pressure before he stared blankly down at her hands.

“Help! I need help!” she yelled, looking around, but the alley was abandoned. They were alone.

“Doctor, look at me,” Rose begged and he blinked, but didn't raise his head. Rose felt panic surge inside her, turning her voice into a high pitched sound and making the blood pound in her ears. She had seen the Doctor hurt before, had in fact seen him gotten hurt much worse, but he had never been in this complete state of shock. His frame trembled as a shudder went through his body, and Rose placed a hand on his chest, shaking him lightly.

“Doctor! Please, talk to me.”

Rose choked back a sob. The Doctor's eyes fell shut, her words not reaching his ears. Rose realized with a sudden bolt of fear that his chest was unusually still under her fingertips. Under the shallow breathing was no heartbeat. She sucked in a sharp breath and moved her hand to the other side of his chest, only to feel his second heart racing in his chest.

“Doctor,” she pleaded again, raising a hand to his cheek. His skin was cold. Tears welled up in her eyes as the Time Lord didn't react to her words. Her vision blurred and she bit down hard on her bottom lip to swallow a sob. She blinked back the tears, pressing her jacket harder onto his wound, shaking her head in confusion when she saw the blood wasn't seeping through the fabric yet. The wound didn't look that bad. He shouldn't be in such a bad condition just from the blood loss.

But then suddenly is whole body stilled. The rasping breathing stopped. Rose didn't dare to place her hand back on his chest, too afraid to feel the stillness under her fingertips. There was no way to stop the tears from falling now. She sobbed, her crying the only sound in the empty street. She squeezed her eyes shut as terror and grief clouded her brain, making her head spin. The dizziness got worse with every second, and for a brief moment she wondered if the same thing was happening to her that had happened to the Doctor.

And then there was nothing. It suddenly just stopped: the wind blowing through her hair, the sun warming her face, the Doctor's cold skin against her palm, the rough fabric of his suit against her arm and the nauseating smell of blood in the air that stung in her nose. Everything vanished around her as her mind was pulled into darkness.

~~~

There was a knock at her door.

Rose jolted up, desperately gasping for breath. Something was wrapped around her legs, causing her to stumble, and she winced when she hit the floor. She opened her eyes, holding her breath when she was suddenly greeted by the familiar sight of her room. She was on the floor next to her bed, the duvet tangled around her legs.

The door opened and the Doctor poked in his head, frowning at the noise, his skin a healthy tone of pink and his crisp white shirt completely blood- free. He looked fine. He _was_ fine. They were in the TARDIS, and he was alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose saw the Doctor's brow furrowing with concern as he poked his head into her room. She was still on the floor next to her bed with the duvet tangled around her legs and what she assumed a look of pure terror on her face. She held her breath, not daring to move a muscle and blinked, surprised to be greeted with the same view of her room as she opened her eyes again. It couldn't be real, had to be some kind of hallucination, she thought, and any minute she would be back in the abandoned alley somewhere in Nul, alone and terrified, with the Doctor's still body in her arms.

Her vision swam as tears overwhelmed her and she bit down hard on her bottom lip to stifle her sobs. It felt like her chest was contracting, leaving no space for air in her lungs, and when she desperately tried to suck in a breath nothing more than a gasp left her mouth.

Within seconds the Doctor was at her side and cradled her in his arms. Rose threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shirt, but it did nothing to calm her down. The usually comforting rhythm of his two hearts beating under her cheek only reminded her of the stillness in his chest she had just felt under her fingertips a few moments ago. Any minute now she would wake up and the steady beating would stop and her skin would be wet with his blood and-

“Rose!” the Doctor said, sharply, as if he had already tried calling her name several times before. “Breathe! Come on, air into your lungs, please!”

She gasped, sucking in an unsteady breath, and the Doctor let out a relieved laugh. She wanted to tell him not to worry; she was not the one who had just died, after all; but her voice broke before she could get out a word. A soft whimper left her mouth instead.

Her head spinning, she barely registered how the Doctor picked her up and sat down on her bed, cradling her in his arms. She tried to snuggle closer, seeking the comforting warmth of his body, and he held her while she cried, rubbing circles on her back and whispering comfort in her ear. And finally, with both his hearts still beating in his chest, showing no signs of slowing down, Rose slowly calmed down.

She eventually became aware of how she sat in his lap, his arms cradling her to his chest and his chin resting on top of her head, his light stubble scratching against her forehead. Rose let out a shaky breath and opened her eyes.

The Doctor shifted until she could see his face, a soft smile on his lips that lightened up his otherwise tense features. “Better?” he asked, his brow furrowing again when Rose only shook her head.

“No! You died, you're dead-”

Her voice broke as a fresh wave of tears made its way down her cheeks. She felt her breathing quicken and the edges on her vision swim, but it was the Doctor's determined voice that pulled her out of her panic.

“Rose, look at me.”

With firm but gentle movements the Doctor adjusted their positions until they were lying on the bed, both of them on their sides facing each other, and raised her chin until her eyes met his. Rose blinked, finally focusing on his face.

“See? I'm not dead. I'm fine, right as rain. No harm done! It was a nightmare, nothing more.”

He studied her, his wide eyes full of concern, and Rose watched how a wrinkle formed on his forehead when he drew his eyebrows together as he nervously waited for a reaction. He curled his lips into a lopsided smile when he saw he finally had her attention. She noticed how the freckles on his cheeks moved when he raised the corners of his mouth, the skin a light pink, a striking contrast compared to his white face when he had died in her arms. But no, he hadn't. He was here, right beside her and wonderfully alive.

Rose reached out, gently placing a hand on his cheek. The Doctor leaned into her touch and let out a content hum when she carefully traced the side of his face with her fingertips.

“You're alive,” she finally said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“Yes, I am.”

“I could swear it did happen. It was so real.”

She shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts whirling through her head. The images of the scene were still locked in her mind, vivid and colourful and horrible, nothing like the fading images her nightmares usually left. Those nightmares she could handle; she would wake up covered in sweat, sometimes with tears on her face if it was especially bad, but she had never felt the horror linger in her bones like she did now.

She shivered and the Doctor tightened his grip around her shoulders, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead.

“But it didn't.”

“Yeah,” Rose breathed out after a moment of hesitation. Deep in her gut this answer didn't feel right, but what else could she say? He was right, he had to be.

Rose pulled back with a sigh, reluctantly leaving the warmth of his embrace, and pushed herself up into a sitting position.

“Sorry 'bout that,” she mumbled while she wiped her still wet cheeks, not meeting the Doctor's eyes.

“Nah, don't worry about it,” the Doctor said, a smile in his voice. He bumped her shoulder with his. “It's fine, really. Happens to the best of us.”

“Yes, but...” Rose worried her bottom lip between her teeth before she continued, “That was different, wasn't it? I just don't get why it was so... intense. Never happened before.”

There were a few seconds of silence before the Doctor let out a long breath that made her look up.

“It's only normal to happen at some point. The things you see leading this life, it's tough. And after what happened on Krop Tor, no one can blame you.”

“I don't think this was about Krop Tor.”

“Well, your subconsciousness might disagree.”

Rose shook her head, frustration spreading inside her. “I had a nightmare after Krop Tor, you know that, and this feels so different. I don’t understand what’s going on. There are all these details in my head that make it feel so real; I can tell you what I was wearing and what we ate and where we were going before you-“

Her voice broke and she let out a shaky breath.

“Do you want to tell me what exactly happened in that dream?” the Doctor asked softly, reaching for her hand.

Rose bit her lip, looking down at their linked hands, but finally shook her head.

“Don’t think I can talk about it without crying again,” she admitted, letting out a hoarse laugh.

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah, I know, I just don’t want to cry any more. Will just end up with a headache.”

Rubbing a hand over her eyes, she got out of bed and ranked her fingers through her knotted hair.

“I think I need a shower; that’ll make me feel better. Meet you in the galley in a bit, yeah?” she asked, shooting a glance over her shoulder to where the Doctor sat cross- legged on her bed like he were exactly where he belonged. Her lips curled up at this sight, and the Doctor answered with a soft smile and nodded.

~~~

In the bathroom Rose stripped quickly, leaving her clothes in a pile on the floor, and stepped under the hot spray of the shower. She groaned when the water hit her face, relaxing her muscles and slowly washing away the last remains of her tears.

She felt a pang of guilt how she had escaped the conversation with the Doctor, knowing that he was just worried about her and wanted to help. She was still shaken and confused, couldn’t really make sense of her thoughts, but the urge to let the nightmare behind her and ban the images from her mind outweighed the desire to talk. And with Krop Tor he had hit a sore spot. It was something that was increasingly irritating her, with the Doctor constantly hovering over her to make sure she was okay while pretending at the same time the events didn't affect him at all.

Rose knew better. The way he had clung to her in that lingering hug once they were safely reunited in the TARDIS had told her all she needed to know. But instead of admitting his feelings the Doctor brushed off the topic, easily slipping back into playful banter, every time the ice got too thin.

She sighed, running a hand over her face, wondering how much longer the two of them could keep pretending nothing was wrong.

Hurrying up to finish her shower, Rose quickly washed her hair and started rinsing her body with soap. When her fingers brushed her upper arms she winced at a sudden pain and looked down her body, surprised to find faint bruises on her skin. A few blue spots on her upper arms, one above the other. Not easy to be seen, but still painful when she touched them. She frowned, covering the spots with her hand. Fingerprints. It must have happened when the guards-

No. Rose shook her head in confusion, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to make sense of the images in her head. That had happened in her dream. It wasn't real. She took a deep breath. The marks on her skin had to be the lasts remains of her adventure on Krop Tor, caused when they had forced her into the rocket to leave the planet.

Trying to shove all these thoughts into the back of her mind, Rose quickly finished her shower, dressed in a hoodie and jeans, and made her way to the galley. Her stomach was growling and when she entered the kitchen, the Doctor was already there.

He stood at the open fridge and studied the contents, his glasses on the tip of his nose. Hearing her footsteps, he turned around and gave her a broad smile.

“Hello! What do you fancy for breakfast?”

Rose peeked past him into the fridge and huffed, poking a finger into his side.

“Don't have much choice, do I? We need to go shopping, Doctor.”

He ruffled his hair, looking a bit lost.

“Yeah, you're right,” he sighed. “But what about pancakes for now? We've got just enough eggs left, and I'm sure there's still some of that Tecarrian flour somewhere.”

Rose felt her face drain from blood as soon as the words had left his mouth, bringing back images of her dream, so vivid as if they were memories. Pancakes, that was how everything had started. Her stomach turned at the thought, making her feel sick. The Doctor's face suddenly appeared right in front of her, his expression something between worry and downright panic.

“Rose? Rose, what's wrong?”

Wrapping her arms around herself, she shook her head, trying to get words past the lump in her throat. “It’s just… something I remembered, from my dream,” she said, letting out a shaky breath. The Doctor reached out for her, placing his hands on her forearm, fingers tracing circles on her skin.

“It’s alright, Rose.”

She nodded and took a few more deep breaths, slowly and controlled, and felt the panic slowly subside. The Doctor raised an eyebrow, sceptically looking at her. “Still don’t want to talk about it? It might help, you know.”

“No. We had pancakes too, in my dream, before it turned into a nightmare,” she explained, not meeting his eyes. “That’s all, no big deal. I’m fine.”

His fingers brushed against her wrist and Rose snapped her hand back, folding her arms over her chest.

“You don't need to take my pulse!”

The Doctor ranked a hand through his hair. “Rose, I just want to help,” he said, frustration in his voice.

Rose let out a sigh, her tense shoulders relaxing as she reached for his hand and entangled his fingers with hers.

“I know. Thank you. But I don't need help, okay? I'm fine. Let's just take the TARDIS to pick up some breakfast somewhere, all right?”

The Doctor's face softened and he nodded. “All right.”

~~~

The Doctor landed them after a shaky flight in the middle of London, just a few years into her future. Rose poked her head out of the door and grimaced at the familiar scenery. Dark clouds were hanging low in the air, pouring rain onto the grey streets where the water already stood in puddles. People were hurrying past, hiding under umbrellas and burrowing their noses into the collars of their coats, paying the strange blue box even less attention than usual.

Rose stepped back inside where the Doctor was just shrugging on his coat.

“I'll just get a jacket, it's pouring outside.”

The Doctor peeked outside, glancing at the sky.

“Or I'll just rush over to the coffee shop, get some muffins and then take us somewhere else? A bit of sun?”

“Yeah, sounds good. Admit it, that actually was your plan and you just ended up in the wrong place, right?”

Rose smirked at him, her tongue poking out at the corner of her mouth, and the Doctor playfully rolled his eyes.

“You're from London, it's raining here all the time. Absolutely impossible to miss. And, as impressive as my lovely space-and-time ship is, it doesn't have a build-in weather forecast.”

“What a shame.”

The Doctor gave her a 'don't insult the TARDIS' glare before stepping out onto the street.

“I'll be right back!” he called over his shoulder as he darted out into the rain.

Rose settled on the jump seat, and only a few minutes later the Doctor burst back through the door, his cheeks red from running and his coat dripping wet. He shook a few raindrops out of his hair, handed her a paper bag and two cups of coffee in a container and hurried to the console. Pressing a series of buttons, he activated the dematerialization sequence. The time rotor slowly began moving up and down and Rose grinned at the familiar sound.

“Right, off we go!” the Doctor grinned.

As he pulled a lever the ship suddenly jolted, letting out a loud groan as it nearly kicked its passengers off their feet. Rose yelped, grabbing the railing behind the jump seat for purchase as the shaking continued even worse than before. She heard the Doctor curse when the lights flickered and sparks burst out from the console. And then, with one last jerk, the TARDIS stopped.

Rose pulled herself up, scanning the room for any kind of damage. The lights were back on, and the Doctor just jumped back to his feet, obviously unharmed and his glasses already on his nose to inspect the console.

“Blimey! What was that?” Rose asked.

“I have no idea.” He cast a glance over his shoulder, frowning. “You all right?”

“Yep, fine. And the coffee is too.”

The corners of his mouth curled up for a second before he turned back to the console. Rose joined him just as he cursed and thumped his fist on top of the monitor that was showing nothing but blackness.

“Didn't you say you finished the repairs on her?” Rose asked, stroking her fingers over the smooth metal of the controls.

“I did! Well, I thought I did, must have missed something. But she looked fine yesterday, no idea why she's feeling queasy all of the sudden.”

He tapped a few buttons and the ship let out a groan in response, but the monitor stayed black. Rose watched how he pulled out his sonic screwdriver for a quick scan of the console, frowning when he studied the results.

“No sign of what went wrong. And everything seems back to normal now.”

“But there must be a reason for this, yeah? I mean, I'm used to rough flights, but not like _that_.”

The Doctor shrugged and finally turned to her, his face relaxing.

“Some kind of energy fluctuations. Nothing dangerous, I suppose. And we've landed somewhere!”

“Really?”

“Yep! What do you say, breakfast for now? I can check on the TARDIS later.”

Rose raised an eyebrow. “Don't you think that's more important? It's no trouble to stay in.”

“Nah, it should be fine. It's probably nothing to worry about. Come on! Aren't you curious where we are?”

Without waiting for an answer, the Doctor grabbed their breakfast, crossed the room and flung open the door. Suppressing a sigh, Rose followed him, trying to ignore the nagging worry in her mind.

When she stepped out of the TARDIS, the ground was soft underneath her feet. Trees surrounded the ship, raging high into the sky with their leaves rustling in the light breeze, while the floor was covered with a thick layer of moss and fallen leaves. A few flecks of light reached the ground, and when Rose ranked her head to follow the trunks of the trees she could make out a few spots of a pale blue sky.

Her lips curled into a smile and when she looked back down the Doctor met her gaze with a bright grin.

“Well, look at this! Brilliant!” he exclaimed, turning in a circle to take everything in. “Looks almost like we're exactly where I wanted us to be, but to be honest I have no idea where we are.”

“Not even a clue?”

The Doctor tilted his head, sniffed in the fresh air and bent down to stick a finger into the ground before licking it clean. He grimaced, making Rose giggle.

“Nope, no idea,” the Doctor finally said after wiping his finger on his trousers. “We definitely got off course during the flight, that's all I know. But exploring is much more fun this way, isn't it?”

Grinning, the Doctor reached out a hand and wiggled his fingers until Rose laughed and clasped his hand in hers.

They strolled through the forest for a while, hand in hand with a comfortable silence surrounding them, until they stumbled over a clearing where the Doctor spread out his coat on the ground and they settled down for their picnic.

While munching her chocolate chip muffin and sipping the coffee, the sun warming her face and the Doctor stretched out beside her, Rose felt the last remains of dread roll of her and finally relaxed. She let out a content sigh, flopping onto her back when she finished eating. Stretching her arms above her head, she turned to the Doctor.

“Oh, I love this.”

“Yeah, me too,” the Doctor said, looking down at her with a soft smile on his lips that made her heart miss a beat.

“Although it's weird, don't you think? It doesn't really matter if we're on a different planet, thousands of years into my future, or on earth, just miles away from home, it still feels special.”

“Well, we're not on earth, that much I can tell you. The atmosphere is different, slightly too much Nitrogen.”

“Are you sure you're not making this up, trying to be impressive?” Rose teased, giving him a smile, her tongue poking out at the corner of the mouth. The Doctor huffed, raising one eyebrow.

“I can show you impressive, if you want.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

Grinning, the Doctor jumped up, crammed the rubbish from their breakfast into the bigger-on-the-inside pockets of his suit and then held out a hand, pulling her onto her feet.

“Give me half an hour for investigations, Rose Tyler, and I will know where we are. Well, maybe more like 25 minutes. Twenty. At a max.”

“You wanna bet?”

“Sure. A tenner?”

“Deal.”

Flashing her one last grin, the Doctor turned around, his eyes skimming over the forest before he dashed to the nearest bush, pulling out his glasses as he bent down to inspect the leaves in detail.

“If you're gonna solve this by sticking more things into your mouth, I'm not sure I wanna see it,” Rose said, scrunching up her nose.

The Doctor, rubbing the leave between his fingers before sniffing at it, rolled his eyes. “I've got more senses than my taste, you know, although I have to say my taste buds are quite efficient in this body. Come on.”

With a jerk of his head he gestured her to follow as he strolled through the undergrowth, cataloging all the plants within his reach.

“Five minutes up, any conclusions so far?” Rose finally asked.

The Doctor tilted his head, turning around to her. “Well, I definitely narrowed it down to one galaxy. You're gonna lose that bet,” he said, but suddenly raised his head as a gust of wind swept through the forest. He sniffed again, and a smug grin spread across his face.

“What?” Rose asked.

“The direction of the wind just changed. Do you smell that?”

Rose shook her head, watching how he leapt forward, giddy with excitement.

“Oh, this is brilliant! I know where we are! Come on!”

Rose followed him through the thicket, trying to keep up with his fast pace, and then the Doctor finally stopped, letting out a laugh.

“Oh, beautiful!” he exclaimed just as Rose caught up to him. She brushed a couple of leaves out of her hair, trying to catch her breath, and studied the scenery in front of them.

“What, that tree?”

The Doctor had stopped right in front of an especially large tree that stuck out between all the others. The Doctor stepped forward, placing a hand on the striking white bark of the tree and craned his neck to inspect the green leaves high in the air. When coming closer Rose could also make out the sweet scent in the air that had led the Doctor to this place. It was kind of familiar, although Rose couldn't quite place it. It made her feel uneasy, but before she could think about it the Doctor turned to her, a huge grin on this face.

“In the whole galaxy, there is only one planet where you can find a tree like this! Well, that's mostly because the government forbid the export of seeds to other planets, but never mind.”

Rose lips twitched at his excitement. “So, spill it out, where are we?”

“Brilliant planet! Wanted to take you here for a while. Rose Tyler, we are on Abliri!”

And with these words, Rose's entire world shattered into pieces. She couldn't breathe, couldn't move as fear overtook her, making her heart race until she could hear the pounding of blood in her ears.

She knew that name. She knew it, and she knew the tree, and not because the Doctor had mentioned it before while rambling about places they should see someday, but because they had been here before. Just a couple of hours ago they had visited the capital, explored the streets in which the Doctor had died after getting hurt in the fight. The images in her head felt so real because they were; it wasn't a dream, couldn't be. Rose had no idea what else it was, but the panic spreading in her stomach clouded her brain, making it impossible to think. There was only one thought, blending out everything else: she had to keep him safe.

The Doctor's hand on her shoulder startled her, and when she looked up she saw him watching her in concern, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown. Rose suddenly remembered she needed to breathe and took in a deep breath of air, calming her burning lungs.

“We have to go, now!” she rushed out before the Doctor had the chance to open his mouth.

“What? Rose, what's happening?” The Doctor didn't make any attempt to move, but instead stepped closer to wrap an arm around her shaking shoulders. Rose brushed him off, moving out of his grip, shaking her head as she tried to find the right words.

“I... I don't know how to explain. But we have to go back to the TARDIS, please, we've got to hurry.”

She grabbed his hand, ready to sprint back to the TARDIS, and tried to get him to move, but the Doctor stayed where he was, not moving an inch. With a sigh on her lips she turned back around, words catching in her throat when she saw the expression on his face. He was often hard to read, but right now she absolutely couldn't tell what he was thinking. Rose gulped and cleared her throat, not quite trusting her voice.

“Please, Doctor. Trust me on this. I'll explain, or try to, but now we have to get back to the TARDIS and leave this planet, as fast as possible. Please trust me,” she begged, clenching her hands into fists when she noticed how much her hands were shaking.

The Doctor finally let out a shaky breath and nodded, his shoulders slumping in resignation.

“Okay, fine. Let's go.”

Rose breathed out in relief, and after a few more seconds of hesitation the Doctor tore his gaze away from her face. He clasped her hand in his and together they took off, rushing through the forest. Trees and bushes blurred into a green haze as Rose completely lost track of their way, but the Doctor lead them confidently in the direction of the TARDIS. She struggled to keep up with his fast pace, stumbling over roots on the ground and with twigs tugging at her clothes, but she didn't dare to slow down. The adrenaline cursing through her veins pushed her forward, even as her side started to hurt and breathing was getting harder and harder.

And finally the TARDIS came into view, a spot of blue in the woods. The Doctor let go of her hand, moving ahead of her, and when she reached the ship he had already turned the key in the lock and pushed open the door.

The door slammed shut behind them and Rose leaned her back against the wood, gasping for air. Her legs were shaking, barely able to keep her upright. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to get her breathing back under control and waited for her head to stop spinning. She heard the Doctor somewhere next to her, breathing rapidly but recovering fast enough to talk after a few more seconds.

“Rose, would you mind to explain what's going on? Because you're really, properly scaring me, and that's not an easy thing to do. I would-”

His voice suddenly broke and he coughed, a noise that made Rose look up in alarm. The Doctor was leaning on the railing next to the ramp, still breathing hard, and his face suddenly went pale. Rose rushed to his side, sliding an arm around his waist when he staggered on his feet.

“Doctor?” she asked, her voice high- pitched with fear.

“Rose, something is wrong,” the Doctor managed to get out through gritted teeth. His breathing faltered and he grimaced in pain, clutching one hand into his shirt over his hearts.

“Tell me what to do!” Rose begged, her eyes filling with tears she rapidly blinked away. “Help me, tell me what's wrong, please Doctor!”

But her voice didn't reach his ears. Instead, his face suddenly went slack and his legs collapsed underneath him.

Rose's vision blurred, and the hum of the TARDIS raising in its tune was the last thing she remembered before she was pulled into darkness.

She woke up to a knock at her door.


	3. Chapter 3

For a few seconds Rose lay still, not moving with her head pressed into the pillows and her eyes squeezed shut. She curled a hand into the sheets, needing the feeling of the soft fabric as a reminder where she was. The door opened and she heard familiar footsteps slipping into her room, the sound comforting and upsetting at the same time. She couldn't hold back a whimper as she finally allowed her tears to fall.  
  
The Doctor rushed at her side within a heartbeat. He knelt down at her bedside, reaching out to gently stroke the back of her head, and Rose raised her head to meet his gaze, his eyes wide with worry.  
  
“Hey there. You all right?”  
  
She bit her lip, trying to pull herself together, and nodded. Pushing herself up into a sitting position, she wrapped her blanket around her and gulped down another sob. The Doctor sat down next to her, curling an arm around her shaking shoulders as she wiped the tears off her face. He pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.  
  
“It's alright, Rose. I'm here.”  
  
Rose let out a shaking breath, and tried to speak, but the words stuck in her throat. The Doctor gently rubbed her arm and gave her a soft smile.  
  
“Did you have a nightmare? Don't worry, you're safe. Everything is fine.”  
  
Rose shook her head, swallowing hard. “'M not sure it was,” she mumbled.  
  
“What?”  
  
Rose raised her head to meet his eyes, biting her thumb nail as a wave of anxiety and nervousness rushed through her.   
  
“I said I'm not sure it was a nightmare.”  
  
The Doctor's brow furrowed.  
  
“Tell me what happened?”  
  
“Okay,” Rose began, taking a deep breath to steady her voice before she continued. “We were on this planet, for a trip. And we got in trouble, as usual, and were running the way back to the TARDIS, but you were hurt, you suddenly went pale and just collapsed and I must have passed out, 'cause the next thing I know is that I'm waking up here and-”  
  
“Rose,” the Doctor suddenly interrupted, raising his hands.  
  
She looked up at him, frowning when she took in his expression.  
  
“What?”  
  
“We haven't been anywhere in a week. You know that, right? You had a nightmare.”  
  
“Yes, but...” She sighed, getting frustrated that she couldn't find the right words to explain. “That was just the first time, because after I woke up on that morning we ended up on the same planet, by accident, and it happened again. You... I think you were dying, but again I just woke up here. It’s like Groundhog Day!”  
  
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “Recurring dreams are not uncommon, especially when you're stressed and-”  
  
“Doctor!” Rose huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “It was not a dream. I believed it the first time, but this is different. It feels so real, like a memory, it's all so detailed and sharp in my head.”  
  
“But all you've been doing in the last eight hours was sleeping peacefully in your bed, on the TARDIS, drifting through the vortex. Definitely no running around on alien planets involved. How should this have happened?”  
  
“I don't know. But I'm so sure it happened, it just feels like it did, you know?” She let out a shaking breath. “Doesn't mean I understand it. And I'm... I'm scared, Doctor.”  
  
She met his gaze, his features softening with compassion, and he scooted over to her, hugging her close. Rose relaxed slightly in his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
“It's alright Rose, you don't need to be scared.”  
  
“I don't understand what's happening,” she said again. “I just know that it wasn't a nightmare. My dreams are always so fuzzy, I barely remember them when I wake up, but this time it's all there, still in my head. Please Doctor, I need you to believe me.”  
  
“Okay,” the Doctor breathed out, his voice tense. “Not a nightmare. I believe you.” Rose sighed as relief flooded through her, and the Doctor tightened his grip around her shoulders, dropping his head to press a kiss to the top of her head.  
  
“Any idea what's happening?” Rose asked.  
  
The Doctor let out a hum and she looked up, watching how he tilted his head, his brow furrowing while he was thinking.  
  
“Yes, a few. Well, not many that actually make sense.”  
  
“Care to share with the class?”  
  
Rose moved out of his embrace, leaning her back against the wall behind her so that she could look at him properly. She patted the space next to her and the Doctor quickly kicked of his trainers before he scrambled fully onto her bed, resting next to her. He clasped her hand in his, entangling their fingers, and his thumb gently brushed over her skin.  
  
“It could be some kind of hallucination, I suppose. Maybe a side effect of the sedative they gave you on Krop Tor. Drugs from the future can sometimes have unexpected effects on your body, since they were designed for further evolved humans.”  
  
Rose wrinkled her nose.  
  
“Doesn't feel like a hallucination.”  
  
“Do you know how a hallucination feels like?”  
  
“No, but...” Rose sighed, brushing a hand through her head. “Doesn't feel like it was. I mean, it felt real, everything made sense. Shouldn't a hallucination be more, I don't know, chaotic maybe?”  
  
“Yeah, you do have a point, although hallucinations can be very different, depending on what causes them.”  
  
Rose kept her gaze on their locked hands in the few seconds of silence that followed, but then a thought crossed her mind and she leapt up, excitedly facing the Doctor.  
  
“Abliri!” she said.  
  
“What?”  
  
“The planet we went to, both times, it was called Abliri. There is this one city, Nul, that we visited and they have these trees, like maple trees, with a white bark and green leaves that they use to make this weird purple syrup you like.”  
  
The Doctor gaped at her for a second, his mouth opening and closing again without a sound leaving his throat.  
  
“Doctor, tell me it's real, that I didn't make this up, please.”  
  
“It is,” he said, still staring at her with a blank face.  
  
“So it can't be a hallucination, right? Can't imagine things that are real.”  
  
The Doctor gulped and finally nodded.  
  
“Yeah, you're right. So, no hallucination.” His brow furrowed and he jumped out of the bed to pace the room, muttering under his breath and ranking a hand through his hair. Rose shivered and wrapped her blanked tighter around her, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.  
  
“What are you thinking?”  
  
“Let's assume it wasn't a dream, and it wasn't a hallucination. What else is there? You didn't leave the room all night, so there is no way it could have physically happened. But... OH!” He stopped his movements and let out a breath before he turned to her. “The TARDIS!”  
  
Rose raised an eyebrow in confusion.  
  
“What? You mean, we travelled in time or something like that?”  
  
“No, that wouldn't make sense. But, she's been acting strange all morning. There is something wrong, I just didn't had the time to check on her so far. You know that the TARDIS is inside your head, to a certain degree. You have a mental connection to her, even stronger since Bad Wolf. It could be that she projected something into your head, accidentally of course, a possible time line, a 'what if', a 'what could be'.”  
  
“Really? That can happen?”  
  
“Well, in theory, yes.” The Doctor tilted his head. “I'll have to check on her to be sure, but that's the only explanation I can think of at the moment.”  
  
Rose was quiet for a moment. “So you don't think it was real?” she finally said in a low voice, eyes fixed on her hands. She heard the Doctor exhale before the mattress dipped beside her.  
  
“Rose, look at me.” He reached for her hand when she looked up. “I believe it feels real in your head, but it didn't happen. You didn't leave your room this night, I am sure. And I'm fine, right as rain. Don't look at me like you expect me to collapse any second. I'm alright, do you hear me?”  
  
After a moment of hesitation she nodded and gave him a small smile.  
  
“Yeah, okay. So what are we gonna do?”  
  
“I'll have a closer look at the TARDIS controls, trying to figure out what happened. I actually planned a trip for today, but we should probably wait until we know everything's back to normal.”  
  
“Yeah, I don't want to go somewhere, to be honest. I'll feel better if we just stay in today.”  
  
“Okay,” the Doctor said, giving her hand a squeeze. “What do you think? Breakfast for now and then I'll get to work?”  
  
But Rose shook her head. Just the thought of getting something into her stomach made her feel nauseated. “I'm really not hungry.”  
  
Fixing her with a worried look but not protesting, the Doctor finally got up, burying his hands in the pockets of his trousers.  
  
“All right. You'll find me under the console, probably for the next few hours, that'll take a while. You just watch a movie or read a book or whatever you feel up to. Oh! The swimming pool room is back where it belongs; you can go for a swim if you want.”  
  
Rose smiled.  
  
“I'll find something to keep me entertained, don't you worry.”  
  
“You'll be okay?” the Doctor asked, unable to keep his concern out of his voice. Rose met his gaze and nodded.  
  
“I'll be fine,” she said, and the Doctor nodded. He hesitated for a second, as if he wanted to say something, but then he just gave her a last encouraging smile before he left her room.  
  
~~~  
  
Rose went into the galley to prepare herself a cup of tea. Eventually deciding that she wouldn't be able to relax enough to do one of the things the Doctor suggested, she made her way to the library. It didn't feel right to leave him alone with solving this problem. She wanted to help, and the first thing that came to her mind where she could find some answers was the library.   
  
As she pushed open the door she was greeted by a comfortable warmth spreading from the fireplace next to the couch, and she affectionately patted the door frame to thank the ship. She hadn't bothered to change out of the vest top and shorts she wore to bed and only put on a cardigan, but the room had the perfect temperature for her not to feel cold while she strolled through the rows of shelves, every one packed with books in all kind of languages, reaching high towards the ceiling.   
  
She bit her lip as she let her gaze wander through the room, unsure where to start and what to look for in the first place. She finally started with mindlessly wandering through the aisles, trailing her fingers along the back of the books and skimming the titles she passed. The library had all kind of books, starting from the local cuisine of various alien planets and sappy romance novels she usually liked to read, to anti- gravity technology of the early 24th century together with the Doctor's favourites like Harry Potter and Charles Dickens. The Doctor's collection was massive.  
  
In this moment, the sheer endless rows of books seemed overwhelming. Rose strolled through the room for a while, her heart sinking as she found nothing that could possibly help her. When she ended up in an aisle with Ucrarian poetry (nearly as bad as Vogon poetry, the Doctor had once told her, and she still didn't know if he had been joking or if Vogons really existed), she pressed her eyes closed with a groan, fingers rubbing her temples where she felt the beginnings of a headache. But when she opened her eyes again, she was startled to find a corridor to her right which hadn't been there a second before. Mouth hanging open in surprise she peeked inside, cast a short glance at the ceiling and stepped down the corridor.   
  
The way was narrower and darker lit than the rest of the library, sending a shiver down her spine. The soft plush carpet had changed into dark wood that creaked under her feet. Rose let her finger trail over the dusty shelves, not surprised when the found she couldn't read the titles on the books. She opened a few of them only to find them written in circular Gallifrayan, the only language the TARDIS wouldn't translate even as she stared at the letters for a minute.  
  
“You brought me here on purpose, didn't you?” she asked, addressing the ceiling. “So there must be something here that I should find, right?”  
  
The hum of the TARDIS raised its tune, just for a second and so slightly that Rose wasn't sure if the ship had really answered her or not. Nevertheless she started to check the shelves row by row in search of something she could understand. After the second shelf she started to get frustrated, but on the third her fingers finally skimmed a few loose pages put between two other books. Careful not to crumple the paper she pulled it out, smiling when the foreign symbols blurred in front of her eyes into Latin letters written in English.  
  
It were about ten pages, filled with narrow handwriting in black ink she didn't recognize, and after quickly checking the other shelves Rose took the papers back to the fireplace where she curled up on the couch and, sipping her long cold tea, started to read.  
  
She gulped hard when she read the first few lines and understood what the text was about.   
  
The concepts of Time Wars.   
  
She lowered the paper, taking a deep breath. Reading these lines felt like an intrusion into the Doctor's privacy. He usually avoided talking about his home and his people, but once in a while Rose got a glimpse that his fellow Time Lords had had nothing in common with the one she knew. He didn't want to talk about the details, especially not of what had happened during the last great Time War, and she respected that.  
  
Rose bit her lip, staring into the fireplace, contemplating her options. She shouldn't read this, not without the Doctor's consent. On the other hand the TARDIS probably wouldn't have helped her to find the text if it said something she absolutely shouldn't know. Curiosity finally taking over, and not yet wanting to disturb the Doctor working on the ship, Rose continued to read.  
  
When she was finished and lowered the pages, her head was spinning with all the information. She noticed her hands were trembling and she slung her arms around her legs, resting her head on her knees as she tried to process what she had just read.  
  
It was a short essay in which the author first summarized the long history of Time Wars, mentioning Time Lords and Daleks and other time sentient species, before focusing on the way such a war was fought. Rose gulped, the things described there extending beyond all her imaginations. The author wrote of using time travel to go back in time over and over again to change small details to determine the outcome of a battle, of striking in the past before the war had even started, trapping opponents in time loops, leaving them there in an eternity of suffering, creating paradoxes that threatened to unravel the whole universe or erasing the enemy completely from existence. She couldn't even begin to understand the horrors of these wars, feeling sick just from thinking how many people must have lost their lives.  
  
Rose let out a shaky breath, pressing her eyes closed when a wave of affection for the Doctor overwhelmed her. The things he must have seen and done during the war, and still he managed to be this kind, compassionate man, never hesitating to help people who needed him. She blinked back tears, turning her thoughts back to the task at hand.  
  
The paper left her confused. Whatever was happening right now, she couldn't see a connection to the things she had just read. But then the realization hit her.  
  
Time loops.  
  
The text mentioned time loops. It was a thought that had crossed her mind before, just for a moment, before she had discarded it, feeling like it made even less sense than the other ideas she came up with. It seemed like only more questions arose from this realization. She quickly scrolled through the pile of papers, searching for the right paragraph. When she reread the lines a frown appeared on her face and she flopped back onto the couch, disappointed with the little information the text contained. It was just a short mention, not explaining a lot of details. But it was a start.  
  
“We're stuck in a time loop,” she finally said out loud, needing to hear the words out loud to believe them. “It _is_ like Groundhog Day! I don't know how, or why, and why he doesn't remember and I do, but that's what you wanted me to know, right?”  
  
The lights in the library flickered for a second and Rose sighed, wishing she would have a better way of communicating with the sentient time ship. But it felt she was on the right way. The urge to run to the Doctor and tell him made her fingers twitch, but she stopped, taking a deep breath, trying to organize her racing thoughts.  
  
She jumped up from the couch and started pacing the room, until she realized how much she was behaving like the Doctor and sat back down. A sigh escaped her lips.  
  
She closed her eyes, concentrating on the things she knew so far. The time loop started with the Doctor waking her up one morning, about a week after they came back from Krop Tor. She remembered how she had said good night to the Doctor and went to bed the evening before, although it felt like it was ages ago. They had spent the evening in the library, reading and talking, until she nearly dozed off on the couch and the Doctor had send her off to bed, although she was reluctant to leave his side.  
  
The loop ended with the Doctor collapsing, right in front of her. Rose gulped down the lump forming in her throat at the memory and wrapped her arms around herself. She briefly wondered if he would have regenerated in case the loop hadn't interfered. She couldn't stand the thought of what would have happened if he didn't, and she bit her lip, trying to think what else she knew.  
  
The end of the loop had happened twice so far, and while the Doctor had been hurt the first time, Rose couldn't see the cause of him collapsing the second time. She frowned when she thought about it. It had looked exactly like the first time, but the only similarity was that they had been on the same planet both times. It could be something in the air, she thought, some kind of poison only lethal for Time Lords that even the Doctor's superior senses couldn't pick up.   
  
That meant the Doctor was safe as long as they stayed in the TARDIS and avoided Abliri on their future travels. Rose let out a breath, trying to relax her tense muscles. That had to be the whole point of the loop, of her reliving this day, because it was the only thing that mattered. Saving the Doctor's life.   
  
Rose sat up, stretching, and rubbed a hand over her eyes. The events of the past days finally seemed to catch up on her, leaving her exhausted and with the dull throbbing of a headache. She let out a sigh, thinking that if her theory was right she could take some time to rest. The Doctor was still working on the TARDIS, and they wouldn't go anywhere for quite some time. He would be fine.  
  
And that was the moment the sirens started blaring.  



	4. Chapter 4

It was an ear- shattering sound, a high pitched wailing that seemed to come from all directions at once. Rose jumped up and, without a second thought, dashed out of the room and down the corridor.

Her heart was beating frantically in her chest as she ran through the ship, the noise of the alarm never subsiding. Panic coursed through her veins, changing her breathing into sharp gasps that felt more and more like she couldn’t get enough air into her burning lungs. She rushed down the stairs and just hurried around a corner when the siren suddenly stopped. Rose came to an abrupt halt, listening into the silence that seemed even more threatening than the noise.

“Doctor?” she yelled, breathless and panicking, before she took up again and darted into the direction of the console room. She silently cursed the size of the ship as images of the Doctor shot through her mind; his body on the ground, his face pale and his chest horribly still.

Finally the corridor widened and she burst into the dimly lit control room. There, standing at the console with his glasses on his nose and inspecting some kind of machinery in his hands, was the Doctor. He looked up when he heard her footsteps and gave her a sheepish grin.

“Sorry! That was just me, forgot to override the security matrix.”

Rose let out a shaking breath and closed her eyes, trying desperately to calm down. When she opened her eyes she was startled to find the Doctor just a few steps in front of her.

“Rose, are you all right?”

She nodded, not meeting his eyes first, but when she raised her gaze and looked into his eyes, wide with worry, she leapt forward and threw her arms around his neck. The Doctor made a surprised sound in the back of his throat but wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her close.

Rose buried her head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. “Don't scare me like that.”

“I'm sorry,” the Doctor said genuinely, squeezing her a bit tighter.

Taking one last deep breath Rose finally pulled free, ranking a hand through her hair, suddenly feeling foolish about her outburst.

“All right?” the Doctor asked, and grinned broadly when she nodded. “Brilliant! Look what I'm working on!”

He practically bounced on the balls of his feet as he walked back to the console, gesturing her to follow him. With careful movements, he picked up the piece of machinery he must have placed on the console moments ago before rushing at her side.

“This, Rose Tyler,” he began, his voice nearly bursting with excitement and pride, “is a class five-slash-alpha transducer, and it is probably one of the most important pieces of this magnificent space and time ship.”

Rose crooked an eyebrow as she inspected the device. It fit easily into the Doctor's hand, and apart from a few complicated looking gear wheels it seemed to be nothing more than a tube out of dusty grey metal.

“You're sure about this? It's so small.”

“It's bigger on the inside, of course.”

“Oh, of course,” Rose repeated and playfully rolled her eyes.

The Doctor nudged her shoulder with his, his lips curling into a smile, and finally pulled out his sonic screwdriver, pointing the tip at the transducer as the whirring sound echoed through the room. He scanned it for a few seconds before placing the machine part on the console to inspect the results.

Rose watched how the Doctor's face darkened, his brow furrowing. He muttered something under his breath she couldn't understand.

“What's wrong?” she asked in alarm.

“This doesn't make sense.”

“What is it? Is it broken? What does it do, anyway?”

“No, it's not broken. It's working perfectly fine.”

Rose blinked in confusion, gazing from the Doctor's face to the device and back.

“Um, shouldn't that be good news?”

The Doctor nodded, taking of his glasses to rub his eyes.

“In theory, yes. It is a device to convert energy from one form into another. You know the TARDIS runs on time energy, which is essential for time travel, but for all the simpler functions of the ship it needs to be converted. Electricity, light, heat, and all that. The time energy alone would be too powerful for these things, it would rip the ship apart.”

“So, definitely good news it's working and we're not about to experience a very painful death any minute, right?”

“Doubt it would be painful,” the Doctor said, tilting his head to the side. “You'd be dead in milliseconds.”

“How reassuring,” Rose muttered. “So what's the matter if there's nothing wrong with it?”

“Nothing being wrong is exactly the point.”

“ _Doctor_. Care to explain properly?”

He ranked a hand through his hair, the messy strands already pointing in every possible direction. Together with his rumpled appearance, his shirt untucked and without a suit jacket, Rose would have found it terribly distracting under normal circumstances. But for now, she forced herself to tear her gaze away from the bit of skin on his neck that was exposed to her view due to the lack of a tie, and listened to the words pouring out of his mouth.

“-and I found nothing that could really explain that, but what I found was a sudden loss of energy, happening somewhere earlier this night. An enormous amount of energy. So I tried to find the source of it, checking on everything where this could have happened. Which are not a lot of things, to be honest, considering how big the leakage was. But-” He began pacing the room.

“Everything is fine! I checked everything else before, and now the transducer. Not a single screw where it shouldn't be. It doesn't make sense.” He let out a long breath, turning back to her. “It's like the energy just vanished, going nowhere. What is impossible.”

Rose's brow furrowed and she nervously bit her bottom lip.

“Do you think it's dangerous?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Probably not, at least if it doesn't happen again.”

He slumped down on the jump seat while Rose rested her back against the console, crossing her arms over her chest. Her mind was spinning as she thought about the new information. Everything just felt horribly wrong. Something was happening, more than she had already figured out, and she couldn't wrap her head around it. Worry and doubt rose inside her, slowly taking over, and she barely registered how her breathing quickened and her vision began to swim at the edges.

She recoiled when there was suddenly a hand on her shoulder, but relaxed at the familiar touch of the Doctor. Before she could say a word he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into an embrace, her head against his chest and his chin resting on top of her head. His fingers traced circles on her back and Rose sucked in a shuddering breath.

“Rose, it's alright,” the Doctor said softly. “I mean it. This ship isn't exactly brand new; a few quirks are only to be expected. Doesn't mean we are in danger. We're going to be fine.”

Rose nodded, taking a deep breath, and the Doctor slowly pulled back a little, not enough to release her, but enough to see her face. She could feel his intense gaze on her although she kept her eyes fixed on her fingers, playing with the hem of his shirt as she rested her hands on his shoulders.

“I- I'm just scared. To lose you,” she finally admitted.

She finally gathered the courage to look up into the Doctor's face. His expression softened as his face, clearly showing his worry before, relaxed. There was something in his eyes, something warm and sparkling that Rose couldn't quite place but what made her feel all fuzzy inside.

“You're not gonna lose me. Stuck with me, remember?”

But she had, twice already, and it made her heart ache to think about it, to think about all the unfulfilled chances, all the things she wanted to say, wanted to do, but never did before it was too late. She couldn't stand the thought that it might happen again, this time for real, permanently, and she was left alone, always regretting the things she never did. She knew she needed to tell him the things she had discovered in the library, but right now everything she wanted was to be close to him and take the comfort he offered, forgetting the terrifying things looming over their heads as long as they were still safe in the TARDIS, not going anywhere.

Gathering all her courage, Rose leant forward and pressed her lips to his.

For a moment, short but enough to make Rose panic, he was stiff beside her but then his lips moved against hers and _oh_ , he was kissing her back. And not just like that, but kissing her back quite enthusiastically.

One of his arms went to encircle her waist so he could pull her closer while he tangled the other hand into her hair, guiding her head for better access. Rose let out a content sigh against his lips, sliding her fingers from his shoulders up his neck to brush her fingertips over the back of his head. The Doctor shivered at the motion and his fingers flexed on her waist before he pulled back. He gazed down at her, panting, looking thoroughly kissed with flushed cheeks and red lips. Rose couldn’t resist the urge pull his mouth back to hers. After a short moment of hesitation he brushed his tongue along her bottom lip, teasing at first until she opened her mouth with a groan.

She lost track of time then, blending out all the things around her that were not kissing the Doctor. All that mattered were his arms around her, his warmth against her, his tongue inside her mouth, snogging her like it was the last thing he would ever do. When she desperately needed air she reluctantly pulled her lips away with a smack, but the Doctor didn't seem to care, latching his mouth onto her neck instead, first trailing his tongue over her skin and grazing it with his teeth before he sucked, hard enough that she knew it would leave a mark.

When the Doctor groaned against her skin and pulled back another time, Rose caught a short glimpse of his eyes, dark with arousal, and wondered shortly if the want was as obvious on her face as it was on his. But then his mouth descended back on hers and all coherent thoughts left her mind. She slid an arm around his waist, pulling his hips against hers, moaning at the feel of his hardening length that sent a bolt of arousal through her.

But the Doctor suddenly froze when her hips met his, as if the friction had pulled him out of a trance and thrown him back into reality. With his lips still on hers and his hands curled around her waist he stood there, not moving an inch. Then he pulled back, breathing hard.

“I-” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, squeezing his eyes shut. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... sorry.”

He took a few steps back, slipping out of her embrace. Rose gulped, adjusting the straps of her top.

“Don't apologize,” she said. “And you definitely didn't do anything you shouldn't have done.”

The Doctor snapped his head up, finally looking at her with his lips tightly pressed together. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again, shaking his head, and turned to leave.

Rose leapt forward, grabbing his arm and spinning him around before he could vanish into the corridor. The Doctor tensed, but didn't free himself out of her grip.

“You- you can't just kiss me like _that_ and then run away.”

“I'm not... it's just... I shouldn't have done that. Kissed you back, I mean.”

“Why not? You obviously wanted it, didn't you?”

“Rose, I can't do this,” he said through gritted teeth.

Rose's brow furrowed and she slowly took a step in his direction.

“What's the problem?”

“I can't... I can't do these sort of things, you know that. Street corner at 2am, dating, marriage, a house with a fence and carpets and curtails and a kid, I can't do that. Just forget this, please.”

“Doctor, I'm not asking you for all those things. That's not what I want.”

“You will, someday,” he said in low voice, not meeting her eyes.

“You can't know that, and that's not the point right now,” Rose said, unable to keep her irritation out of her voice. “All I'm asking for right now is that you don't run away from me and finally tell me what you feel, what you want.”

The Doctor’s eyes were wide and scared, and Rose could see his urge to run, as fast and as far as he could, in every cell of his body. He tried to take a step back, but her hand was still curled around his arm and Rose tightened her grip, stopping his motions.

“It didn't mean nothing, did it? You don't do that sort of thing. And really, we've been dancing around this long enough; it had to happen at some point. Why can't you just admit that you have feelings for me instead of pushing me away whenever I come too close?”

Rose felt tears gather in her eyes and quickly blinked them away, hoping the Doctor wouldn't notice. But he didn’t even meet her eyes, instead staring at a spot over her shoulder. The moment Rose loosened her fingers on his arm he took a step back as if she had burned him, sucked in a sharp breath and pressed his eyes closed, grimacing.

“I’m sorry Rose,” he finally said again, his voice shaking. Rose could see he was panicking on the inside, but then he turned around, fleeing through the room as fast as he could.

“Wait!” Rose yelled, just before he could vanish into the corridor. He came to an abrupt halt, his tense shoulders slumping, but he didn’t turn around. “Please, wait. It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about this now, but there’s something I have to tell you. About the things we’ve been talking about this morning. Something’s really wrong and I need your help, so please don’t run away. I’ve been to the library and-“

Rose stopped, blinking when she realized he wasn’t moving. She hesitantly took a step in his direction. “Doctor? Are you listening?”

The Doctor suddenly swayed on his feet. He tried to suck in a breath and failed, a strangled noise escaping his throat instead. Before Rose could comprehend what was happening his whole body went limp and he collapsed to the ground with a terrifying thump. Rose cried out, instantly rushing to his side and dropping to her knees next to him, reaching to check for his heartbeat with shaking hands. But it was happening too fast. Rose bit back tears, squeezing her eyes shut as she was welcomed with the now familiar darkness around her.

~~~

Her eyes shot open milliseconds before the knock sounded through her room. She groaned and rolled on her back, covering her face with a pillow and barely resisting the urge to scream until she was hoarse. She heard the familiar sound of the door opening and the Doctor sliding into the room, followed by a dip of her mattress as he sat down next to her. She clutched the pillow tighter, trying to calm her feelings before she could face him.

“What are you doing, Rose?” The Doctor sounded amused.

“What does it look like? Trying to suffocate myself,” she muttered, her voice muffled by the pillow over her face.

“Well, that's impossible this way; you would pass out first.” The Doctor tugged the pillow away from her face despite her protests and arched an eyebrow at her. Rose blinked to get used to the light and finally met his gaze, his mouth curled into a crooked smile but his eyes shining with worry.

“What a pity,” she sighed.

“Are you all right?” The smile vanished from his face.

Rose pushed herself up, sliding her arms around her knees.

“ _I'm_ fine. How are you?”

“Perfectly fine. Molto bene!” the Doctor said, looking surprised.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. Rose, what's the matter?”

She bit her lip, watching him carefully with narrowed eyes. He definitely looked fine, his cheeks covered with a light pink flush, eyes shining. He seemed to be perfectly healthy, but at this point Rose knew better. There had to be something wrong with him.

She cursed herself for thinking that the reason he died was somewhere on Abliri, not wanting to consider it could also happen on the TARDIS. But it had made sense, before he had collapsed for the third time, and with the TARDIS being their home, their safe spot inside this universe full of dangers, she had really believed no harm could reach him on board.

But whatever had happened to him, it had happened again on the TARDIS, what either meant it was something on the ship or, considering she wasn't affected at all, something that was already in his body, cursing through his bloodstream like a time bomb. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts she raised her head, suddenly making a decision. She had to find out what was wrong with him, and she needed to do it as fast as possible.

“Doctor, we need to go to the infirmary! Now!”


	5. Chapter 5

“I think you're exaggerating a bit.”

Rose rolled her eyes at him. “You've said that already.”

“Well, the point still stands.”

The Doctor shrugged out of his suit jacket, throwing it over the back of a chair without care, before loosening his tie. He raised his eyebrows while Rose watched him carefully, looking for anything unusual in his movements, anything that could be a sign that he was sick. But then the Doctor fully turned towards her, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What exactly do you want me to do? Or do you just want to watch me undress?”

He winked and Rose huffed in irritation.

“Can you please take this a bit more serious?”

“That would be a bit easier if you tell me what's going on.”

“I told you it would need a while to explain and I need you to do this _now_. Please, Doctor,” Rose begged, and the Doctor's face softened before he nodded with a quick jerk of his head.

“Right, sorry. So?”

Rose tilted her head to the side, gazing over all the shining white machines at the other side of the infirmary, right across the exam bed and the medicine cabinet. She recognized a few of them, both from her own time and from the Doctor using them on some of her injuries before, but most of them remained foreign and alien.

“Can you do... a general scan or something like that?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Well, sure, I could. Anything in particular you want me to look for?”

“Dunno. Just check for any kind of diseases or poisons and things like that, yeah?”

“If you want to.”

“Yes, I do. Come on!”

Rolling his eyes but biting back any comments the Doctor crossed the room to pull a machine out of the corner, rolling it over to the exam bed.

“You do know that with my pretty impressive Time Lord physiology I am able to pick up most diseases on my own, right? I can already tell you the scan will come up empty,” he said while adjusting the cables and the arm of the machine until the scanner attached to it was hovering over the bed. He pressed a few buttons and the machine came to life with a loud hum. Turning towards her, he raised his eyebrows in question.

“Can't you just get on with this? Without arguing? Please, Doctor.”

The Doctor hesitated for a second before he sighed, took off his trainers and jumped onto the exam bed. “Alright. Just press the big blue button to start the scan, will you?”

He adjusted the scanner above him. Rose stepped at his side, inspecting the controls of the machine and pressing her finger down on the button he indicated. The scanner bathed the Doctor in a blue light and he squinted before turning his gaze towards her.

“This will take a few minutes,” he said.

Rose let out a breath, brushing a hand through her hair.

“Okay.” Her voice broke and she cleared her throat. “I'll just run to the loo, yeah? Back in a minute. You gonna be alright?”

“Sure.” The Doctor fixed her with a thoughtful gaze, wrinkling his forehead, and Rose gulped before she quickly turned around and rushed out of the room.

Once she was in the bathroom she leaned her back against the closed door, squeezing her eyes shut and taking a deep breath while she tried to get her shaking hands back under control. The anxiety bubbling inside her veins was overwhelming, and together with the look on the Doctor's face she needed a minute alone to calm down. She took her time using the toilet and washing her hands before she took off the jumper she had quickly pulled on before she had dragged the Doctor to the infirmary.

As her gaze fell onto her form in the mirror, she abruptly stopped in her movements. She was looking at herself with a pale face and dark circles under her eyes, but that was not the thing that startled her.

There was a red bruise forming on her skin, right where her neck met her shoulder. With trembling fingers she reached up to brush over the spot where the Doctor's lips had left this mark. Together with the light bruise on her upper arm it was a terrifying reminder of what had happened in the last few days.

She finally wrenched her eyes away from her form in the mirror and quickly washed her face, the cold water soothing on her skin. Running her hands through her tousled hair she tried to get through the knots that had formed in the blonde tresses, but she finally gave up on that, put her jumper back on and hurried back into the infirmary.

When she stepped back into the bright room, the Doctor was already on his feet, bending over a monitor and inspecting the circular symbols on the screen with his glasses perched on his nose.

She joined him just as he turned around to face her, a broad grin on his face. “Rose Tyler, as you can see here, I'm right as rain. Perfectly healthy, just like I told you.”

He gestured towards the screen with the letters she couldn't read, but since everything was underlined in a calming green she assumed the scan had come up empty. Rose frowned, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, and the Doctor's smile slipped.

“That doesn't make sense,” Rose said.

The Doctor took a step towards her.

“Why wouldn't it make sense? Rose, I am fine. I feel _fine_.”

“But you're not! You...” She trailed off, helplessly staring at the screen. “There must be some kind of mistake.”

“Rose, what's the matter? Did you have a dream or-”

“ _No_!” Rose shouted, and the Doctor stared at her, perplexed by her outburst. “Stop saying that it was a dream when I know for sure that it was not. And don't interrupt me!” She raised a finger to shush him just as he opened his mouth to speak.

“You're not fine. You collapsed, you were dying, and then it reset because we're stuck in a bloody time loop. And it just happened again, three times now, and the last time was on the TARDIS so there must be something wrong with you!”

She stopped to take a breath while the Doctor gaped at her, his mouth hanging open.

“I don't understand why it is happening but I swear it's real, so please believe me. I can't do this without you.”

The Doctor narrowed his eyes.

“I'm not sure you understand what you're saying,” he said, slowly. “A time loop is terribly complicated to create, and it doesn't just happen without interference. It is an artificial construct, not a natural thing.”

“I do know that,” Rose insisted.

“Then how would you explain-”

“I don't know! You're the clever one from us both, so you help me figure it out! All I know is that it’s happening.”

“Rose-”

“No, stop it! We went to the planet Abliri, twice, and the first time we were in Nul, a beautiful city right on top of a hill with a forest all around it. It has a round marketplace in the middle of the town and three suns and these trees they use to make this weird purple syrup you like. And last time you fixed the TARDIS and showed me the transducer for the time energy, which looks just like a tube with a bunch of wheels but is apparently bigger on the inside. We haven't done any of these things before, right? So how should I know this?”

Rose barely noticed how she raised her voice and began pacing the room while the Doctor followed her motions with his eyes, staring at her. Before he had the chance to say anything Rose rushed to continue. She pulled her jumper over her head, leaving her in a vest top, and threw it to the floor behind her.

“And if you need even more evidence, there's a bruise on my arm where one of the guards in Nul grabbed me when we got in trouble and a hickey on my neck where you kissed me the last time.”

Rose took a deep breath, finally running out of words and turned to the Doctor who was looking at her in shock, his gaze wandering from her face to the spot on her neck and back.

“Please say something,” Rose said, nervously watching his face.

There were a few more seconds of silence before the Doctor managed to get his voice back.

“I kissed you?” he asked, his voice high pitched and slightly panicky, and Rose scowled at him.

“Is that all you’ve got to say?”

“Rose.”

“If you must know, I kissed you, and then you copped a feel before you had second thoughts and ran away. But can we please focus on the real problem here?”

The Doctor gulped and took a deep breath, his tense shoulders relaxing as he forced himself to calm down. “Right,” he said, his voice hoarse, and he cleared his throat. “Okay. We need a plan. In fact, I've already started planning, if you don't mind. Step one: cuppa in the galley.”

Rose huffed in irritation. “Why-”

The Doctor interrupted her by taking a step forward and gently placing his hands on her forearms. His fingers brushed over her skin in small circles. “Rose, you're shaking life a leaf, don't you notice?”

She opened her mouth to protest, but the words stuck in her throat as she saw the Doctor's concerned expression; eyes wide, one eyebrow raised, mouth hanging slightly open. Glancing down at her hands she noticed that he was right, and she clenched her fingers into fists, trying to stop the trembling.

“It's just... a bit much, yeah? I'm okay, really. But I need you to believe me, Doctor.”

“I do! Rose, I believe you, do you hear me? We'll figure out a way to stop whatever is happening, I promise.”

Feeling tears gather in her eyes, Rose quickly nodded and lowered her head, blinking away the tears. She bit down hard on her bottom lip, desperately trying not to fall apart.

“Oh Rose, I'm so sorry,” she heard the Doctor say before he gathered her into a tight embrace.

Rose let out a shaking breath, burying her face in his shirt and wrapping her arms around his waist to pull him closer. The feeling of his body right next to hers, radiating warmth, and his arms tightly wrapped around her shoulders finally helped her to calm down. She took a few deep breaths, gathering her thoughts.

When the Doctor whispered into her ear again that he believed her, the sensation of his breath against her skin sent a shiver down her spine, reminding her of the last time he was so close to her. It finally made her pull back.

“I'm alright, really. I'm fine,” Rose said, wiping at the corners of her eyes.

The Doctor fixed her with a sceptical gaze, his brow furrowing.

“You're sure? It's totally fine to cry, you should know that.”

“I do! I just feel like I've already cried too much; it's getting on my nerves.” She gave him a tentative smile. “And it's really not much use right now, is it?”

Hesitantly, after brushing his fingers one last time over the skin on her shoulders, the Doctor took a step back and nodded.

“Right. So, cuppa? I definitely need some tea right now, and you look like you do too. When is the last time you've eaten?”

“Not sure. It's hard to keep track, you know?”

The Doctor gulped, ranking a hand through his hair.

“Yes, of course. Tea and toast then, and then you can tell me in detail what happened.”

~~~

“And, um... that was the last time. Woke up right before you knocked at my door.”

After a few seconds of silence, Rose raised her eyes that were previously fixed on her hands to look at the Doctor. He watched her carefully while he clenched his hands around his mug of tea so hard his knuckles went white. He finally nodded when she looked at him and let out the breath he was holding, but didn't speak.

“So, what do you think?” Rose asked, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. The Doctor leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head.

“Although I'm not quite sure about the details, I think a time loop really is the only thing that makes sense in this case.”

“Yeah, I already figured that out without you, you genius.”

His lips curled into a proud smile as he beamed at her.

“And that was really clever, Rose.”

“Didn't really help me, though.”

“Oh, I wouldn't say that.”

“No, it didn't! I understood what was happening, but you died again! I should've told you a lot sooner and-”

The Doctor reached over the table, clasping her hands in his. Rose stopped and let out a shaking breath before she raised her head and was met with a tentative smile on the Doctor's lips.

“Rose, it's alright. You've got no reason to blame yourself. It doesn't matter what happened before; the important thing is that we can fix it now. Okay?”

She nodded, biting her lip.

“Okay. So, what do you know about time loops? Have you ever been in one?” she asked.

“Several times in fact, unfortunately. It's usually never a very pleasant experience.”

“But you could remember them before? Why not now?

“Good question. Could be different reasons. My first guess would be that the time loop apparently resets my body for about a day, contrary to yours.” His eyes flickered down to her neck for a second before returning to her face, and she could see his Adam's apple bob when he swallowed before he tilted his head to the side and continued. “So if all changes in my body are reset, it would also reset the neurons in my brain which would mean the memory is gone. Simple biology. But until I know who created the loop I can’t be sure.”

Rose raised her eyebrows at his last sentence.

“ _Who_ created it? You think it's a person?”

“Probably. Well, possibly. I don't know.” Getting frustrated, the Doctor ranked a hand through his hair. “The thing is, like I already said, a time loop is a modification of time, not a natural thing. And it's terribly difficult when you don't have the right technology and an enormous amount of energy at hands. My people, the Time Lords, were able to create time loops, before the war. But large parts of the Time Lord technology are lost now.”

“And it couldn't happen, like, on accident or something?”

“It used to happen sometimes, with time ships malfunctioning for example, but this is too precise. On accident it would be random, chaotic, but this time loop seems to have the fixed end point of my death, or, well, near death at least.” He wrinkled his nose. “There are still too many things I don't understand.”

“But you agree with me that the way to stop it would be saving you, right?”

“Yes, you're probably right.” He tilted his head to the side, grimacing. “Although that is another thing I don't understand. If we assume it is a someone who is doing this, why would he use this power to save my life?”

Rose's brow furrowed as she thought about his words, an idea forming at the edge of her consciousness, fuzzy and slippery, so that she couldn't quite focus on it. But it was there, the answer to his question, lying on the tip of her tongue. She noticed the Doctor was still rambling and jerked her hand up to stop him. He stopped mid-sentence, mouth hanging open, and his eyebrows nearly vanished under his fringe as he raised them in question.

“Can you repeat what you're said before?” Rose asked.

“What exactly? I was probably saying a lot.”

“About what it takes to create a time loop.”

“Long lost technology? One of the most brilliant minds in the universe?”

He paused, but Rose gestured him to go on. “A tremendous amount of energy?”

“That's it!” Rose exclaimed excitedly, jumping up so fast she nearly knocked her cup of tea from the table.

“What?” the Doctor asked confused, as he watched her pacing the room.

“Energy fluctuations, sudden loss of energy,” she quoted. “Doctor, it's the TARDIS! She's doing this!”

She could see how the Doctor's brain worked, trying to make sense of it, and so she rushed to explain. “The first time we went to Abliri the TARDIS was perfectly fine. The second time she was feeling kind of sick and we went through a pretty rough landing while you said something about energy fluctuations. The day after that we didn't even go anywhere because you checked on that energy leak, like I told you. It has to be her!”

The Doctor stared at her in awe for a few seconds after she finished, but then he broke out into a bright grin, his eyes lightening up as they sparkled with pride. He jumped to his feet in one swift movement, crossed the room with just a few steps and suddenly stood right in front of her, grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh, Rose Tyler, you are brilliant!” he exclaimed, and before Rose understood what he intended to do he had already cupped her face in his hands and dipped his head down to plaster a kiss on her lips. It was chaste and sweet, and only lasted a second before he pulled back and excitedly began pacing the room.

Rose could only stare at him, wondering if the last seconds had really happened or if the events of the last few days were finally driving her mad. But when she licked her lips it was there, the taste of the Doctor's lips, something that had burnt itself into her mind the day before. She licked her lips again, noticing now also the sweet taste of his tea with too much sugar, and she briefly wondered if the taste would be more prominent if he kissed her again like he did the day before.

“Rose?” The Doctor's voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?” Rose asked, clearing her throat when her voice hitched, and she snapped her head up. The Doctor looked at her, corners of his mouth tugging upwards as he unsuccessfully tried to suppress a smile.

“Have you been listening?”

“Um... sorry, can you repeat the last part?”

“Short summary: with the TARDIS creating the time loop we have one thing less to worry about and can concentrate on other things. Come on!”

He bounced on his feet, holding out a hand to her.

“Where are we going?” Rose asked as he led her out of the galley and down the corridor. The Doctor's brow furrowed.

“Back to the infirmary. If our assumptions are correct and the TARDIS is creating the loop to save me, then there has to be a way to fix it. So, first step: figuring out what needs to be fixed, second step: getting a cure, and then this will be over.”

“You're saying it like it's not a big deal.” Rose worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Well, after the first scan came up empty it might be a bit tricky to track it down. But don't worry.” He gave her a grin and bumped her shoulder with his. “I'm very clever, and I own some of the best medical equipment in this universe! We'll find a way, I promise.”

~~~

Back in the infirmary, Rose anxiously watched the Doctor as he rummaged through the cupboards, muttering under his breath. She wrapped her arms around herself, the sterile, white room suddenly feeling colder than the rest of the ship. Leaning against the examination table she studied how the muscles in the Doctor's back flexed as he stretched to reach a higher shelf, until she couldn't stand the silence any longer.

“What exactly are you going to do?” she asked, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt.

“I'll have a closer look at, well, everything. The scan this morning was pretty broad; it could've easily missed something that was a bit more complex.”

He rolled up his sleeve while awkwardly balancing a couple of things he had gotten from the cupboard in his other hand, until Rose walked over and took them from him. He raised his head, a look of gratitude on his face, and Rose drenched a cotton ball in disinfectant before rubbing it into the hollow of his elbow.

“Thank you,” the Doctor said. “If you just take that blue tube thing and press it over the veins here - yeah, exactly like that.”

Rose lips curled into a smile as she pressed the device against his skin, pushing the button, and the Doctor winced for a second as the needle broke through his skin and drew blood into the tube.

“Done this before, remember?”

“Right, of course. Thank you.”

The Doctor smiled at her and took the tube from her hands. He approached one of the machines in the corner of the room, slid open a drawer and put in the tube with his blood. The machine filled the room with a steady hum as he slammed it shut and it began to work.

“Right, that is this,” the Doctor exclaimed as he whirled around and started rummaging through the medicine cabinet. “And while we wait for the results, I could- ah, here it is.” He pulled out a small glass container with an orange liquid in it, as well as a syringe. Rose carefully studied the sharp needle as the Doctor filled it with the drug.

“What's that?”

“It's a stimulant. You know how my body is able to pick up most diseases or poisons on its own? This will just boost my body functions a bit, makes it possible to catch something I might have missed earlier. Don't look at me like that; it's perfectly safe.”

He gave her a reassuring smile before placing the needle against his skin and injecting the liquid, barely wincing. He let out a breath, placed the syringe aside and rolled down his sleeves when he was finished. Rose watched him carefully, nervously biting her thumb nail.

“How long does it take to work?”

“Oh, should be just a few seconds. I injected it directly into my bloodstream, so it doesn't take long to spread through my whole body. Ah, there we go, it's taking effect.” He grinned at her before his brow furrowed in concentration. “Now, let's see... oh.”

“What?” Rose asked in alarm, taking a step closer to him as she watched how the Doctor's face went pale in just a few seconds. He raised an eyebrow, staring into empty space in front of him.

“That's... that's interesting. Very interesting. And, oh, very much not good. Definitely not good. I-”

His voice broke and he let out a grunt in pain, clutching the table behind him so hard that his knuckles went white. Rose rushed to his side, sliding an arm around his waist in support, her voice high pitched in panic when she spoke.

“Doctor, tell me what's wrong, please.”

The Doctor grimaced and pressed his eyes closed for a few seconds, his breathing halting.

“Rose, I need- in the top drawer on your right, I told the TARDIS what I need-”

He resolved into coughs, apparently struggling to get air into his lungs, and Rose rushed to the drawer, hauling it open. There was a small device, shaped like a pen, and she recognized it as an injector like the Epipen her cousin used to carry around with her for her allergies.

She took it out with shaking hands just when there was a thump behind her. She whirled around and saw that the Doctor had collapsed onto the floor. His breathing came slow and sharp, and she rushed back to his side, trying desperately to keep a clear head despite the panic coursing through her system.

“Into your thigh, yeah? Through the trousers?” she rushed out, and the Doctor managed to nod.

“Yes, just... hurry.”

She quickly removed the cap of the pen, pressed it against his tight, and, watching his twisted face, pressed the button that slid the needle into his flesh and injected the medication. The Doctor went still under her and Rose bit down hard on her lip to stifle a sob. She reached out, her hand shaking, and placed it on his chest. Tears gathered in her eyes when she felt it still under her fingertips. His face had gone slack, white as chalk, his skin covered in cold sweat and his eyes pressed shut.

“Doctor?” Rose cried, but she received no answer. There was no movement in his chest, no breathing, no heartbeats. She couldn't stop the tears from falling, a sob escaping her mouth. She had been too late.

And unlike all the other times there was no familiar darkness, no sudden rush to consciousness in her bed as the time loop started again. Instead, the room was quiet and bright and lonely. She lost him. He died, and there was nothing she could do, and nothing the TARDIS could do, not anymore, and-

There was a sudden movement under her fingertips. Faint, fluttering, but still there. A heartbeat. Rose gasped, not sure if she had imagined it, but after a few seconds it was there again, and again, raggedly, before finally settling back into a steady rhythm. Rose sobbed in relief at the same time the Doctor sucked in a sharp breath. She reached out to touch his cheek, brushing her fingers over his cold skin. He was still there, unconscious and pale, but he was alive. And that was everything that mattered.


	6. Chapter 6

It was quiet in the infirmary.

Rose looked down at the Doctor, lying unconscious and still in the bed in front of her. She could see his chest moving as he breathed, but it was shallow and slow, the sound not reaching her ears. She wasn't sure if it was a good sign, but after his rasping breathing only minutes ago it felt reassuring.

As soon as her tears had stopped and she had forced herself to think clearly, Rose had managed to carry him to the exam bed, panting under the effort. Lying on the crisp white sheets together with the bright, artificial light in the room, he still looked too pale. She raised a hand to swipe his fringe away from his forehead. His skin was clammy and cold, covered in sweat. But as she trailed a finger down his cheek she noticed it was a shade pinker than before, and she let out a breath in relief. The Doctor didn't stir under her touch and she wiped at the corners of her eyes, trying not to cry as she desperately hoped he would wake up.

Gulping, she looked around the room, helplessly searching for anything she could do to help him. But she still didn't know what had made him sick, and even if she did, Rose doubted that she would know what to do. She cast a glance at the ceiling, frowning.

“Any help?” she asked, her voice thick and raspy. The TARDIS stayed quiet. Rose sighed, brushed a hand through her hair and rummaged through a drawer until she found a stethoscope. With trembling fingers she opened the buttons of his shirt, enough that she could place the cold metal over the spot of his left heart. She could hear it beating, a steady rhythm in his chest, and moved the stethoscope to his right heart, her lips curling into a relieved smile as it echoed the comforting _thumpthump_ of the first one.

She pulled a chair next to the bed, slumping down as she tried to figure out what to do. There wasn't much she _could_ do, Rose realized, her heart clenching painfully in her chest. She had to trust him and the TARDIS that he would be fine with the medication she gave him, that he now just needed some time to heal before he would wake up. But it didn't feel right just doing nothing. That was not what the Doctor would do.

She got up again, getting a wet cloth from the sink and carefully started wiping his face clean from sweat. She could at least try to make him a bit more comfortable. Slowly, she moved the fabric over his forehead, brushing back his hair, then further down over his closed eyelids, over his cheeks and his lips, resisting the urge to press a kiss to them.

When she reached his neck she noticed the hem of his shirt was drenched, and she wrinkled her forehead, hesitating for a moment before she pulled his body upright, leaning his weight against her with his head on her shoulder, while she stripped the oxford of him and tossed it aside. She did the same with his clammy t-shirt, struggling a bit more as she tried to get the shirt over his head, but she finally succeeded and gently laid him back down onto the white sheets.

Rose tried not to stare too much at his lean torso after she had wetted the cloth once again and began swiping the sweat off his skin. When she moved it down his chest, along his ribs and over his stomach and finally reached his trousers she stopped, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. While she wanted to have a look at the injection side on his thigh, just to make sure it didn't become inflamed, she assumed the Doctor wouldn't much appreciate it if she stripped him down to his pants.

She set the cloth aside, rubbed his skin dry with a fluffy towel and covered him with a sheet the TARDIS provided for her, hoping he was warm and comfortable. With a sigh, Rose slumped down on the chair next to his bed. She reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze and gulping hard when he didn't respond. His hand was limp in hers, but the temperature felt right, his fingers just slightly cooler than her own. And he was looking better, now that he was cleaned up and the colour slowly returned to his skin. All the tension had left his body, making it look like he was sleeping peacefully. The only thing Rose could do now was wait.

Now, as she sat in the quiet infirmary and waited for the Doctor to wake, Rose slowly felt the exhaustion of the past days. The adrenaline coursing through her veins was wearing off, leaving her tired, both physically and mentally. She couldn't tell how long it was since she last slept properly, or when she had her last proper meal, something that was more than just a sandwich and a cup of tea. All the crying and the emotional turmoil had left its toll on her body.

Rose rubbed her eyes and yawned, before she got up to splash some water into her face over the sink, desperate to stay awake. She didn't dare to sleep, to let the Doctor out of her eyes, in case his condition got worse. But when she returned to the chair at his side, she felt the exhaustion more than ever.

She reached for his hand, entangling his fingers with hers. If he would just stir, give any sign that he noticed her touch, her thumb brushing over his skin, then she could sleep. Then she would know he would be all right. But his hand was still in hers. And her eyes fell shut.

~~~

When Rose woke up, the first thing she became aware of was that she was warm and comfortable. She stretched and let out a sleepy sigh, snuggling deeper under her blanket. She hugged her pillow closer, shifting on the mattress, ready to fall back asleep when the memories suddenly crashed down on her.

She shouldn't be warm and comfortable; she should be sitting on the plastic chair in the slightly chilly infirmary, next to the Doctor.

Her eyes shot open, and she was greeted by the pink walls of her room. The sight made her sick. She cursed and scrambled out of bed, blinking back tears. Burying her face in her hands, she tried to take a few deep breaths.

Waking up in her room had to mean the time loop had started again, throwing them back to the beginning. Everything they had achieved so far, gone in the blink of an eye. She shook her head, confused. Why hadn't the TARDIS alerted her when the Doctor got worse?

The door opened behind her, and Rose whirled around, watching the Doctor slide into her room. He stopped abruptly when his gaze fell on her and opened his mouth to speak, but Rose quickly interrupted him before he could get out a single word.

“Doctor, I need to you to listen, this is important!” she rushed out, taking a deep breath before she continued. “I'll explain the details later, but the only thing you need to know now is that we're stuck in a time loop that only I can remember, and I need your help with this. You're sick and we-”

“Rose,” the Doctor interrupted, quickly crossing the room until he stood directly in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. He gave her a reassuring smile. “Relax, everything is fine.”

“But-”

“We haven't started again. The loop didn't reset, and I'm fine.”

Rose blinked, looking at him in confusion. “But... what am I doing in my room?” Her voice was shaking, heart still beating frantically in her chest, and the Doctor grimaced, looking guilty. He guided her to sit down on her bed, sliding an arm around her shoulders.

“I'm sorry. When I woke up you were sleeping in the chair and looked very uncomfortable. I took you to your room to rest. You looked like you needed it, so I didn't want to wake you.”

He squeezed her shoulder, pulling her closer into his side. “I should've stayed with you. I mean, I did, because I didn't want you to wake up alone; I was just gone for two minutes to check on the TARDIS.”

Rose let out the breath she was holding as she processed his words. It was finally over. It felt like a weight lifted from her shoulders.

“All right?” the Doctor asked, his voice full of concern, as he gently rubbed the skin on her forearm.

“Yeah, I am,” Rose said, raising her head to look at him. He was smiling softly, his cheeks pink, and was watching her with alert eyes. Dressed back in his suit, only his messy hair was an indication that he had spent the last hours recovering in a bed. Rose bit her lip, letting her gaze wander over his features again. “And you? You're fine now? You're cured?”

“Yep!” the Doctor said, popping the p at the end of the word, breaking out into a huge grin. “All thanks to you, Rose Tyler! You were amazing!”

He threw his arms around her, enthusiastically pulling her into a hug. Rose laughed and wrapped her arms around his waist, snuggling closer to him. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, closing her eyes and enjoying this moment of peace and happiness for a moment.

“I would say 'any time' but to be honest I'm really glad it's over,” Rose admitted when she finally pulled out of his embrace. She flashed the Doctor a grin but his own smile slipped, worry clouding his features.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I might be dead if it weren't for you. Well, both you and the TARDIS.” He shot a glance at the ceiling, eyes lighting up.

“Yeah, we're quite a team, aren't we?” Rose laughed, patting the wall next to her.

The Doctor looked down at her, his grin back in place. “You definitely are. So, I think I owe you some explanations, hm?”

“Oh yes. Already wondered how long you wanted to keep up the suspense.”

“Well, no need to keep you waiting! Come on!” he exclaimed, jumping up and holding out his hand to her, wiggling his fingers.

~~~

Rose's brow furrowed as she watched the screen in front of her. She tilted her head, trying to make sense of the image. It looked like it was recorded with a microscope, showing a couple of cells and something that definitely didn't look right.

“Um, I'm not the science expert in this room, but I guess that is something that shouldn't be there?” she finally asked, pointing to a cluster of dark grey dots in one edge of the image.

“Exactly! This, Rose Tyler, is an image of my adrenal medulla.”

Her brow furrowed. “Your what?”

“The adrenal medulla, the core of the adrenal glands that sit on top of your kidneys and are mostly important for hormone production.”

“Okay.” Rose worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “So what is the grey stuff?”

“It's a poison,” the Doctor said. “I could track it down to one galaxy. Remember Apor Five, that planet where we went for dinner last week? I probably picked it up there, maybe in the food.”

“Oh my God.” Rose let out a breath and stared at the screen for a second, before a thought crossed her mind and she jerked her head up, looking at the Doctor with wide eyes. “But I had some bites of your dinner! What about me? Doesn't it have an effect on humans?”

The Doctor grimaced, running a hand through his hair. “No, it does. Guess we were just lucky that it was me and not you. It would have taken effect by now, so you didn't pick up anything. You're safe, don't worry.”

“But why didn't you notice? I mean, you said you could detect almost all poisons on your own, right? But you walked around with that stuff in your body for almost a week.”

“That's the tricky part.” The Doctor took of his glasses, rubbing his eyes. “That poison is clever. It hides in the body for a while, before it takes effect. It accumulates in the adrenal medulla during that time. You know, the hormones produced there are adrenaline and noradrenaline. Well, in my case the slightly different Time Lord equivalents, but the point stays the same. They are stress hormones, crucial in the flight-or-fight response of the body.”

“So? What happens when the poison takes effect?”

“Well, the first important thing is _when_ it is activated. It takes effect when the flight-or-fight response of the body is triggered, resulting in the release of hormones. Wait, I've got a video.”

The Doctor turned back to the computer, typing something into the keyboard, and the image on the screen came to life, showing how the small grey dots suddenly moved, distributing over the cells.

“What you see here,” the Doctor began, pointing at the screen. “Is what happens once the hormones are released. The poison sticks to the receptors you see here. You know, once there is enough adrenaline in your bloodstream the body has to stop producing it, so there is a molecule that binds to these receptors, signalling that the gland is supposed to stop. But in this case the receptors are blocked by the poison, so the body just keeps producing adrenaline.”

Rose brow furrowed as she tried to take in his words. “So, that means...” she began and stopped again, thinking. “That is what made you sick? Like a... an adrenaline overdose?”

“Exactly!” The Doctor proudly grinned at her and Rose tilted her head, staring at the screen.

“Guess that makes sense, huh? I mean, you got sick after running for our life the first time, the second time was similar, and the third time...” She trailed off, the Doctor shifting uncomfortably next to her. He cleared his throat before he continued.

“Yes. An adrenaline overdose results in a dangerously elevated heart frequency and blood pressure, vascular constriction which makes it difficult to breathe and is fatal when it's not treated immediately.”

Rose let out a shaking breath, letting his words sink in. “But you're alright now? You took care of the poison?”

“Yes,” the Doctor said and stepped forward, reaching for her hand. “The stimulant I used last time triggered the release of stress hormones, but it also helped me to see what was happening. Once I knew it wasn't very difficult to take care of it and inactivate the poison. I'm fine now.”

“Okay.” Rose gave his hand a squeeze. She finally raised her gaze from the screen to his face and gave him a small smile. “I'm glad.”

“Me too.”

“Would you... I mean, would you have regenerated? If it wasn't for the time loop?”

The Doctor let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Yes, probably. I still have regenerations left. But, you know, the process can be a bit... dodgy. There is no guarantee that it works, there can always be something that interferes. Something that prevents a regeneration, or delays it for several hours.” He made a face. “Anyway, I'm glad we didn't have to find out if I would have regenerated or not. “

Rose nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah,” she said, her voice low, and a shiver went down her spine at the thought what could have happened if the TARDIS hadn't kept him safe.

The Doctor rubbed a hand over her back, and in the sudden silence that followed Rose became abruptly aware of his proximity. He was standing so close she could feel the warmth radiating from his body, and with his arm on her back she only needed to turn to the side to be properly in his embrace. It felt new, this sort of intimacy. They held hands all the time, but usually kept some distance between their bodies, restricting closeness like this to celebratory hugs or moments of comfort.

But now, the Doctor stayed right beside her, his fingers rubbing the tense muscles between her shoulder blades and when Rose looked up, she was startled by the proximity of his face. He was looking at her, his face calm and relaxed, eyes alert and with an expression of affection that made her heart stutter in her chest. Her eyes fluttered down to his lips, so close to hers that it would only take a small moment to raise her head and meet his mouth for a kiss. She could already feel his breath on her skin.

Rose gulped, and when she raised her gaze back to his eyes they were so dark it was nearly enough to push her over the edge, to make her press her lips to his. But she remembered the last time he had looked at her like this, and the thought of his rejection still made her heart ache. The memories were like a bucket full of cold water, and Rose abruptly took a step back, sliding out of his embrace. She couldn't do this now, not with her head still swimming with everything he had just told her and her emotions still in turmoil after all the things that had happened.

The Doctor averted his eyes, gulped audibly and ran a hand through his hair before burying his hands in the pockets of his suit. He shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat before he spoke.

“Rose, about what you told me... I mean, that you kissed me and-”

“It's okay,” Rose rushed to say, interrupting him. She felt her cheeks heat up and fixed her eyes to a spot on the floor instead of looking at him. “You don't have to explain anything. Let's forget it, yeah? I mean, it wasn't really you, was it? Not the you in this timeline; it never happened for you.”

“Right. Okay,” the Doctor said, after a moment of silence. Rose let out a breath.

“Can we...” she began, but trailed of, biting her lip.

“What?”

“Um, how is the TARDIS? Can she make a trip?”

“Well, she had some time to recover; been a while since she had to reset the time loop. She should be up for a trip, although it's possibly a bit bumpy. Guess we should stop by in Cardiff soon to refuel.”

“Can we go and see mum first?” Rose asked, finally raising her eyes to look at him. “It's just... it was a bit much, the last few days. Might be good to see her.”

The Doctor fixed her with a thoughtful gaze for a second before he nodded. “Sure. I'll set the coordinates; you just go and get changed. What do you say? Arriving right in time for supper? You must be hungry.”

“Yeah, sounds good. Thanks,” Rose said, meeting his gaze for a moment before she turned and fled out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! Please note the change in rating for this chapter.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read this story and left kudos or comments, it means a lot! And a huge thank you to resile for being a wonderful beta.

Jackie Tyler set her mug of tea down on the coffee table with a loud clunk. Startled by the noise, Rose abruptly looked up from the television, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa as Jackie narrowed her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Okay, what did he do?” she asked.

“What do you mean? He didn't do anything.”

“Come on, Rose. I'm not blind. You're both being weird.”

Rose bit her lip, nervously fiddling with the mug in her hands, and averted her eyes. Her gaze wandered through her mother's flat, but Jackie spoke again before she could make up her mind what to tell her.

“Really, there's no way not to notice. You weren't even holding hands when you arrived here! And then you won't look at each other all night and right after supper that daft alien goes to hide in that box of his! And how he looked at you when he thinks no one notices, like a lovesick puppy. Did you have a row?”

Groaning, Rose buried her face in her hands. “Mum, I told you we're not together like that.”

“Didn't say you are. But something's happened, hasn't it? You can tell me, sweetheart.”

At Jackie's softening tone Rose looked up, letting out a sigh.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks mum. It's just... kind of complicated to explain,” Rose said, and Jackie gave her an encouraging smile.

“Well, we've got all night, haven't we? Doesn't look like he'll show up soon.”

Rose set her mug down on the table, lowered the volume of the telly and pulled her knees close to her chest, resting her head on the back of the sofa. She finally met Jackie's gaze and bit her lip, unsure where to start.

“Mum, do you know that movie, Groundhog Day?” Rose finally asked.

“Course I do!” Jackie said. “It was on TV just two weeks ago. You know how it is this time of the year, nothing but reruns. That actor, what was his name? Bill Murray? He's quite handsome in that one.”

Rose grimaced. “Yeah, okay. So, that sort of happened to us. The time loop.”

Jackie stared at Rose for a second, mouth hanging open, before she finally found her voice. “Oh my God, he shagged you?” she cried.

“What? No!” Rose said, making a face. “Why the hell would you think that?”

“That's what happens in the movie, innit? That guy is stuck in that time loop and then he ends up in bed with that woman and that's when it stops!”

“Yeah, I didn't mean that everything in that movie happened to us,” Rose said, glaring at her mother. “We were stuck in a time loop the TARDIS created because the Doctor was sick. I woke up on the same day without the Doctor remembering a thing until we found a way to cure him.”

Jackie gaped at her for a second before she rolled her eyes and sighed.

“That life of yours, it's completely bonkers.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Rose muttered.

“But he's fine now? He's alright?” Jackie asked, and Rose smiled at the genuine concern in her voice.

“Yeah, he is.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, we- I mean, he found a cure, or an antidote I guess. It was some kind of poison that made him sick. He's alright now.”

“So that's why he's being weird? Is he still recovering?”

“I-” Rose started, letting out a sigh. She bit her lip, shifting in her seat. “No, don't think so. But he's been... well, to be honest I'm not sure what he's thinking. But he was kind of upset when I told him some things that happened last time in the time loop. I mean, before it reset for the last time.”

She stopped, brushed a hand through her hair and looked up again to meet Jackie's eyes after a few seconds of silence. Her mother rolled her eyes.

“Go on. Spill! What happened?”

“I kissed him,” Rose finally rushed out, feeling her cheeks heat up and trying to ignore how Jackie's eyes widened.

“About bloody time!” Jackie cried out, grinning. “Took you two long enough.”

“Mum, I'm not finished,” Rose interrupted, nervously fiddling with her earring. “I kissed him, and at first he kissed me back, and, um... he seemed to like it, but then he stopped and pulled back and apologised. Saying he shouldn't have done that. Mum, he doesn't want things like that, kissing and that whole relationship stuff. He doesn't want me.”

Rose sniffled, blinking back tears. “And that hurts. That's why things are weird between us. But I'm not gonna leave him. I guess we just need some time to be back to normal, yeah? It's alright.”

“Oh, Rose.”

Rose lowered her head, wiping at her eyes, and Jackie scooted closer until she could wrap her arms around her daughter. Letting her eyes fall shut, Rose rested her head on her mother's shoulder.

“He's been so sweet all the time when I was upset because of that time loop, comforting me and all, I guess I got that a bit wrong,” Rose said. “I thought he actually would-” She stopped, shaking her head. “Never mind.”

“Sweetheart, did he _say_ he doesn't want you?” Jackie asked after a moment of silence, and Rose's brow furrowed. “What did he say when you told him what happened?”

“He didn't really say anything,” she answered, her voice trembling. “I mean, I didn't want to talk about it, not this time around. Didn't seem fair, you know? To want explanations for things he's never done. It happened on one of the days that was repeated, so he doesn’t remember. It didn't happen for him! Not this him. But he said enough. When he pushed me away after that kiss.”

“But did he actually say he doesn't want you? Rose, that man _adores_ you, that doesn't sound like him.”

Rose grimaced. “Of course he didn't say it. You know how he is, always talking a lot without saying what he means, but I know what he wants to say when he does that. Known him long enough.”

“Oh, Rose, I'm sure you got in wrong this time.”

“How would you know?” Rose asked, rubbing a hand over her eyes.

“Because I've seen how that man looks at you!” Jackie said. “Like you're the only thing worth looking at in the whole universe! How his face lights up whenever you enter the room, with that stupid bright grin on his lips. He's head over heels for you, I tell you.”

Rose bit her lip, feeling tears gather in her eyes again. “But he didn't-”

“He probably just needs a good kick in the arse, that one,” Jackie interrupted. “Come on Rose, you've got to talk to him.”

“Yeah,” Rose sighed. “I know I should talk to him, it's just... I don't want to get hurt. And it did hurt, that he rejected me. Didn't have much time to ponder on it, with all the things happening so fast afterwards, but I don't want to do that again.”

Jackie pulled Rose closer, rubbing her arm in a comforting motion. “I know, sweetheart. But it's not like you to give up, not so quickly. That's not my daughter,” she said softly, and Rose's lips curled into a soft smile.

“It's just been exhausting, these last few days. Emotionally, I mean. Didn't think I was ready to talk to him,” she admitted. “But I'm feeling better. Thanks mum.”

“Anytime, sweetheart. So you're gonna talk to him when you go back to him in that box, yeah? And if he still needs a kick in the arse you just tell me. I don't let anyone hurt my daughter.”

Rose laughed. “It's okay. I think I can cope on my own.”

“I'm just telling you. That daft alien should know better than to mess with me,” Jackie said.

“I'm sure he knows that already. He can be a bit clever if he wants to be.”

“Can't be too clever if he still hasn't kissed you properly. What do you say, another cuppa? 'Strictly Come Dancing' is on tonight; you still like that show, don't you?” Jackie asked and Rose nodded, curling up on the sofa, content to spend the rest of the evening listening to Jackie gossiping over the celebrities on the telly, drowning out the nagging worry in her mind.

~~~

When Rose shut the door behind her, she took a deep breath before finally turning around to face the console room. She nervously bit her lip as the Doctor poked his head out from under the console, greeting her with a smile. She leant her back against the door, not quite trusting her voice, and the Doctor's brow furrowed.

“Rose? Are you alright?” he asked, crawling out from under the console. He made a step in her direction before he stopped in the middle of his movements and awkwardly shifted back, burying his hands in the pockets of his suit.

“Yeah. I'm fine. I mean, better than before,” Rose said. “Um, I know that I said before, but... can we talk?”

The Doctor let out a breath, his tense shoulders relaxing, and he nodded. “Of course. Sit with me?” he asked, gesturing to the jump seat. Rose sat down beside him, careful to keep some distance between their bodies. The Doctor gulped, glancing down to her knee that was usually touching his when they sat together like this, before raising his gaze to her eyes and forcing a smile on his lips. “So?”

“You kissed me,” Rose finally blurted out, feeling her cheeks heat up.

“Er... apparently, yes.” His eyes flickered to her neck, where the hickey he had left on her skin was covered by a purple scarf.

“No, that's not... I didn't mean the kiss in the time loop. In the galley, when I said it was the TARDIS who's creating the loop.”

“Oh. Yeah,” the Doctor said, clearing his throat. “Was that... okay?”

“Depends.” Rose worried her bottom lip between her teeth, watching the light pink flush on the Doctor's cheeks. “Why did you kiss me?”

The Doctor nervously rubbed his neck, averting his eyes for a second, before his lips curled into a lopsided smile. “Well, you were awfully clever,” he said, teasing.

Rose huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “That’s all? So if it had been someone else being clever, I don't know, my mum or Mickey, you would have kissed them too?”

She failed to keep the irritation out of her voice, and the Doctor's face fell.

“No!” he protested quickly. “No, sorry, that is not what I meant.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Rose, I'm rubbish at this.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” she mumbled and lifted her legs to the seat so she could wrap her arms around her knees. She heard the Doctor slowly exhale before he scooted closer to her.

“Rose,” he said softly. “Can you tell me what happened during that first kiss?”

She hesitated, but finally nodded. “I- I told you the basics, yeah? I was upset and I kissed you. You kissed me back, and when things got a bit... heated, you stopped, pulled back and ran away.”

“And you let me?”

“No, course not. I wanted you to be honest with me, wanted you to tell me how you feel, and you said you can't do it, that whole relationship thing.” She raised her head, meeting the Doctor's gaze just when a wave of guilt crossed his features. “That thought sound familiar?”

“Yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “Rose, I- I mean, the I in that timeline, he didn't just say that to brush you off. That's how I feel. I can't do this. I will never settle down, get a house, get married and...”

He trailed off as Rose raised a hand to stop him. “Yeah, I know. You told me that last time. And I will tell you again, that's not what I want in my life.”

“What if you change your mind someday? Rose, there are so many things I could never give you. You deserve so much better than this old alien-”

“You give me the universe,” Rose interrupted again. “The whole of time and space. And I love it, I love this life, and I know that I will never want anything else. Not when it isn't with you. And I think I deserve to make my own decisions, don't you think?”

“Yes, I- of course you do, Rose.” The Doctor rubbed his eyes, before finally reaching for her hand. Rose smiled as she entangled her fingers with hers. She scooted closer, resting her head against his shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” the Doctor said after a moment of silence. “I just really haven't got a clue how to do this. Really, it's terrifying.”

“Doctor, it's just me. No reason to be scared,” Rose said, and she heard the Doctor slowly exhale.

“But that's exactly it, Rose. It's you; that's what makes it scary. Because you mean... you mean everything, and I'm terrified to screw things up.” He paused and Rose shifted on the seat until she could see his face, the raw emotion in his eyes making her heart speed up. His confession made the desire to throw her arms around him and press her lips to his nearly unbearable, but the Doctor's expression was serious and vulnerable and so Rose stilled, not sure what to say.

“And I'm terrified to lose you,” the Doctor continued. “I'm terrified of the thought that I will outlive you; that one day you'll be gone and I'll have to go on alone. How am I supposed to do this?”

Rose's face softened, and she hesitantly lifted a hand to his face, cupping his cheek. “Doctor, just to remind you, you nearly died. Several times in the last few days. We were lucky this time, but what about next time? How do you know I won’t be the one who outlives you?”

He sighed. “Rose, I'm the one with the longer lifespan-”

“But I'm also pretty sure you're the one who gets into more trouble.”

“Rose,” he protested weakly, meeting her gaze, and the pain in his eyes made her heart ache.

“I'm sorry,” Rose said. “'M not trying to turn this into a joke. I know you're serious about this. But I just wanna say... shouldn't you try to be happy now, enjoy what you've got and make the best of the time we have? Do you really think it will be easier when I'm gone if we just ignore the thing between us?”

She bit her lip, nervously watching his face. The Doctor let out a long breath, rubbing his eyes. “I know you're right. But it's still...”

“Scary?”

He nodded, and Rose nudged her shoulder with his. “And that's alright, Doctor. It's normal, yeah? But it's no reason to run away, or deny what you feel.” She paused for a second. “So, if I'm gonna ask you again why you kissed me, what would you say?”

The Doctor let out a laugh, his tense features relaxing, and he finally looked at her. A few seconds passed in which Rose became painfully aware of the quiet in the console room, together with her rapidly beating heart. She nervously gripped the jump seat with the hand that wasn't clasped in his. She felt herself blush under the thoughtful gaze of the Doctor, and his lips curled into a soft smile.

“Because I wanted to,” he said.

“Yeah?”

Rose broke out into a grin and licked her lips. The Doctor's eyes darted to her mouth, just for a second before they returned to her face, and he cleared his throat.

“Yep.”

“So, you wouldn't mind if I kiss you now?”

“Oh, definitely not. In fact, I insist that you do, Rose Tyler.”

He raised his free hand to her neck, brushing his fingers gently through her hair before cupping the back of her head, pulling her closer. Rose bit her lip, his face only inches away from her. His breath was ghosting over her skin, sending a shiver down her spine. But right before his lips met hers she tensed up, pulling away a little. The Doctor opened his eyes, a panicked expression on his face, and Rose grabbed his shoulder to keep him in place before he could pull away completely.

“No more running away?” she asked, nervously searching his eyes.

The Doctor's face softened and he shook his head. “No more running away. Well, with our lifestyle probably plenty of running away, but only with you. No running away from you. That's, I mean-” He tilted his head, suddenly looking nervous. “If you want, of course.”

Rose couldn't help but laugh. “You're so daft,” she said before pressing her lips to his.

The Doctor let out a noise of surprise that was instantly muffled by her mouth, before he leaned into her touch, kissing her back. He tangled a hand into her hair while the other gripped her waist, pulling her closer. Rose sighed contently against his lips, enjoying how they tentatively moved against hers, making warmth pool low in her belly. She lifted one hand up into his hair as well, brushing her fingertips over his scalp, delighted how the Doctor shivered under her touch.

They broke apart a moment later, and Rose broke out into a grin as she saw the Doctor watching her out of hooded eyes.

“Was this like our last kiss?” the Doctor asked, his cheeks flushed, and he absently licked his lips. Rose tilted her head.

“Dunno. Not exactly. Why?”

“Well, doesn't seem fair that you remember that kiss and I don't. I think I have to catch up on that experience, don't you?”

“Yeah, sounds good. But Doctor...” Rose trailed off and bit her lip, suppressing a smirk. “That wasn't exactly like last time.”

“No?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her, his thumb brushing over the skin at her neck.

“Nope. There was a lot more...”

“What?”

“Tongue.”

The Doctor looked startled for a second before he let out a laugh. “Right. Okay.”

“Just so you know. You might want to do something about that.”

As soon as the sentence had left her mouth, the Doctor's lips were back on hers. Rose responded eagerly, and opened her mouth with a groan when he trailed his tongue along her bottom lip. When the Doctor tugged at her waist again, trying to pull her flush against him, Rose shifted, not breaking the kiss, until she straddled his lap. The new position allowed them to deepen the kiss without craning their necks in an awkward angle, and the Doctor approvingly hummed against her lips before he chased her tongue with his own.

His hands slipped under her shirt, gently stroking her skin, moving from her back to her stomach up to her ribcage. Rose arched into his touch, gasping when he hesitantly palmed her breast. She thrust her hips forward and the Doctor groaned, breaking the kiss when she pressed against the bulge in his trousers. The Doctor looked at her out of dark eyes, his mouth hanging slightly open, with an expression of utter fascination on his face. It made her heart beat even faster; anticipation tingling in her veins. He laid his head back, resting it on the back of the seat, exposing his neck to her view in a way that made her lick her lips.

“Rose,” the Doctor finally said, hesitantly and a little bit breathless. “Can we... move this to the bedroom?”

Rose smiled at the tremor in his voice, and dipped her head down for a quick nip at his neck while palming his erection, making the Doctor hiss in response. She pulled back, giving him a tongue touched grin.

“Thought you’d never ask,” she teased before getting up, pulling the Doctor with her.

Interrupted by stealing kisses from one another they needed a while to stumble across the next bedroom. Rose barely had the chance to recognize the door as the one leading into the Doctor's room before he had pressed her up against the dark wood, mouth back on hers and his erection poking into her stomach. She moaned as the Doctor took his time exploring her mouth, and finally found the strength to push him away a little.

“Inside,” she panted, and the Doctor nodded, opening the door and pulling her into the room.

When Rose made her way through the room to the large bed, she quickly pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it to the ground. She kicked of her shoes, flicked open the button of her jeans and pushed the denim off her legs. Reaching the bed and noticing the Doctor wasn't following, she turned around and smiled at him.

He stared at her in awe, eyes roaming over her body, and finally moved when Rose held out her hand for him. He was at her side within seconds, cupping her face in his hands and pressing a tender kiss to her lips.

“You're beautiful,” he whispered against her mouth, and Rose felt herself blush.

“You're not too bad yourself,” she grinned as the Doctor guided her to lie back on the bed, hovering over her. “But maybe you would look better with fewer clothes.”

“Kind of busy here,” he protested before he started to trail kisses down her neck. Rose arched into his touch, enjoying the scratching of his shirt against her naked skin. She reached behind her back to open the clasp of her bra, and the Doctor helped her slide the fabric off her body. He latched his mouth to one of her breasts without warning and Rose gasped in surprise, moaning when he rolled his tongue over her hardening nipple.

Rose jerked her hips up, desperately searching for friction that would ease the throbbing between her legs, and the Doctor trailed a hand down her body, stilling right above the hem of her knickers. He looked up for a second, silently asking for permission, and Rose groaned.

“Doctor, if you don't get your hand down my knickers right now I'm gonna- ohhh.”

She didn't get to finish the sentence, because as soon as the words had left her mouth the Doctor had complied, sliding a hand inside her knickers, fingers brushing against her clit with the motion. He quickly pulled the undergarment of her legs to give him better access, and Rose let out a needy sigh as he started to explore her folds with his fingertips.

She was already soaked, and the sound of his fingers sliding through the moisture filled the room together with her breathless gasps. Pressing her hips up she demanded more, and the Doctor instantly responded by slipping two fingers inside her, his thumb moving up to circle her clit, teasingly, not quite touching where she needed him most.

The Doctor watched her face in awe, and when he set up a steady rhythm with his fingers, his thumb finally brushing over her clit just right, Rose quickly felt the pleasure rising inside her, coiling low in her abdomen. Lowering his head, the Doctor trailed kisses down her stomach, his lips making her skin tingle, but it wasn't enough. She wanted more.

“Doctor,” Rose panted, looking down at him where he was busy nipping at the skin just over her hip. “Doctor, please.”

The begging made him look up, stilling his motions. “What do you want, Rose?” he asked, his voice low, and he licked his lips. Rose grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling him upwards, and she whimpered when his fingers slipped out of her.

“Get out of these bloody clothes,” she said, and the Doctor pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

“Right. Okay,” he said, before getting up to his knees, one at each side of her hips. He grinned down at her, finally starting to unbutton his shirt. Impatiently, Rose reached for the fly of his trousers, popping open the button before carefully lowering the zip. The Doctor's motions faltered, his hands stilling, and Rose smirked as she pushed his trousers and pants down, enough that she could wrap her hand around his erection.

“Rose,” he gasped, pressing his eyes closed in pleasure as she stroked her thumb over the tip of his cock before giving him a few good strokes.

“Doctor, your shirt,” Rose reminded him, cupping his balls, and the Doctor let out a curse before frantically opening the last buttons, tossing both the oxford and his undershirt to the floor only moments later. He moved out of her grip to strip off his trousers, and finally he was naked, hovering over her, and pressed his body flush against hers as he lowered himself to kiss her again.

Rose moaned as his erection pressed against her centre, and the Doctor pulled back enough to watch her face as he slowly guided himself inside. Rose gasped as he filled her, pleasure coiling with the slightest bit of discomfort. The Doctor stilled, peppering kisses across her face as he gave her time to get used to his size.

“Alright?” he asked. Rose nodded, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and lifting her hips in response. The Doctor finally began to move, sliding his cock nearly completely out of her before thrusting back in. They quickly found a matching rhythm, the Doctor moving with long thrusts and Rose meeting his movements with her hips, and soon Rose was breathing hard, panting and moaning as sensations raced through her, each of the Doctor's thrusts sending sparks up her spine. But it wasn't enough to get her off, and the Doctor noticed, changing the angle until he hit her just right, making her gasp in pleasure. His own motions grew frantic and he slid a hand between them, rubbing her clit in tight circles as he sped up his movements, breathing hard.

Rose quickly felt her orgasm approaching, the Doctor touching her just like she needed it, and when he lowered his mouth to her breast, grazing his teeth against her nipple, it pushed her over the edge and she came with a shout of his name. Pleasure clouded her senses as the Doctor sped up one last time, following her into orgasm after a few more strokes. Rose clenched around him, making him gasp, and he finally collapsed into her, sweaty and sated.

They both lay still for a while, the Doctor with his nose buried in her neck, Rose trailing her fingertips everywhere she could reach, through his hair, down his neck, over his shoulders. They enjoyed this moment of closeness in each others arms, but then Rose nudged his shoulder and he rolled off her, his cock slipping out of her. The Doctor quickly grabbed his shirt from the floor to clean them up, before he snuggled back into her side.

Rose lazily opened her eyes to find the Doctor watching her, and they both broke out into a smile.

“Hello,” the Doctor said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

“Hey,” Rose laughed, the aftershocks of her orgasm still making her head swim.

“Blimey, we're good at that,” the Doctor said, making her giggle.

“Yeah. I'm knackered. You definitely wore me out,” Rose sighed, stifling a yawn. The Doctor grinned proudly before pulling her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Then go to sleep,” he said, and Rose slid an arm around his waist as he pulled the duvet over both of them. Rose snuggled into his side, breathing in his scent, and let her eyes fall shut with a smile on her lips.

~~~

When Rose awoke the next morning, she knew everything was all right.

There was a warm body curled around her. The Doctor's naked chest pressed against her bare back, one of his legs was entangled between hers and he had an arm draped over her waist to clasp her hand in his. His face was buried in her neck, his breath tickling against her skin.

The fuzzy, warm feeling of happiness spread in her chest and Rose broke out into a grin before she turned in his embrace until she could wrap an arm around his waist. She pressed her face against his chest, the rhythmic beating of his hearts under her cheek.

Woken up by her movements, the Doctor let out a sleepy noise in the back of his throat. He shifted, pulling her closer against his body and trailing a hand lazily down her spine.

“Good morning,” he mumbled into her hair and Rose pressed a kiss to the spot over his hearts, feeling the Doctor shiver in response.

“Morning,” she replied, shifting in his embrace until she could see his face. The Doctor smiled at her, looking so relaxed and content that it made her heart speed up, and he leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips.

“You stayed the whole night?” she asked when he pulled away. The Doctor let out a hum.

“Course I did.”

“And there goes your 'I don't sleep as much as you humans' superiority,” Rose teased.

“I have to inform you that I didn't sleep the whole night. Just for a few hours after you fell asleep, and then I drifted off again in the morning.”

“Really? Weren't you bored the rest of the night?”

“Nah.” The Doctor gave her a crooked grin. “Cuddled up against a warm, soft, and sleepy Rose? Never. I think that's my favourite Rose.”

Rose giggled as he nuzzled his nose against her cheek. “And naked?” she asked, wiggling her body against his, the feel of his skin against hers replacing the last remains of tiredness with burning arousal.

“Oh, definitely,” he said, trailing a hand down her back until he cupped her bum and pressed her closer to him. Rose gasped at the feel of his erection against her stomach and the Doctor smirked, pulling himself up until she was on her back and he was hovering only inches above her.

Rose raised a hand to cup his cheek, and the Doctor turned his head to press a kiss to her palm.

“'M glad you stayed,” she said, her voice low, and the Doctor's face softened. “Waking up wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience these last few days.”

“And this is better?”

“Loads.”

“We might have to make it a habit, then.”

Rose hesitated for a second, curiously watching his face. “Are you asking me to move in with you?” she asked.

“Rose, you already moved in two years ago,” the Doctor pointed out.

“I mean properly. Into your bedroom.”

“Well. If you want,” he said, something vulnerable in his eyes, and Rose rolled her eyes before she placed a hand against his neck and pulled him down to her. The Doctor let out a noise in the back of his throat as he lost his balance and his body crashed into hers, but Rose quickly covered his lips with hers, trailing her tongue along his bottom lip until he opened his mouth with a groan.

When they broke away a moment later the Doctor was panting, his cheeks flushed, and Rose smirked at him, enjoying that he looked properly snogged.

“Was what a yes?” the Doctor asked, a bit breathless.

“Of course it was. Stuck with me, remember?” Rose said, her voice soft, and the Doctor smiled before he pressed his lips back to hers.


End file.
